Gender Gender

‘I suspect child is mine’

Hello Raphael and Namukolo,
The girl I dated four years ago has a child who is three years, when I asked her if I was responsible she refused saying the father was a rich married man, but I suspect the child is mine but she just wants the rich man to support her and the child. Should I go for DNA tests?
Joe, Chirundu.

Dear Joe,
We must start by highly commending you for insisting on finding out if you are the father to your ex-girlfriend’s child. Although it was highly irresponsible of you and your then girlfriend to indulge in sex outside marriage, once the damage was done you did not seek to refuse responsibility as many irresponsible men do.
Yes you must press for a DNA test as this is the only conclusive way to determine parentage. If your ex-girlfriend resists this move you must approach the courts of law who will compel her to oblige.
And in case it turns out that the child is yours you must then take full responsibility of supporting the child and deliver the (foolish?) married rich man from supporting a child who is not his!
‘I slept with my cousin’
Hello Raphael and Namukolo,
I slept with my cousin when I was 20 years old because he promised me money and a house, he never fulfilled his promises and this has been haunting me for years, I am now 30. Should I confide in someone or let sleeping dogs lie?
Angie, Kabwe.

Dear Angie,
You reaped the consequences of a very foolish and irresponsible decision which you made. Your cousin simply took advantage of you to satisfy his sexual desires. There is very little you can do except to repent of your irresponsible actions. The Bible warns us that the sins we committed in our youth can cause us trouble in later years. Job 13:26 NIV ‘For you write down bitter things against me and make me inherit the sins of my youth.’ This is the reason why David asked God not to remember the sins of his youth. Psalms 25:7 NIV ‘Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.’
Ten years is a long time. Even if you were to confide in someone, what evidence do you have? It would simply be your word against his. The best way to get money and a house is to work hard. Only prostitutes try to get them by giving away their bodies. I am sure you do not want to be labelled a prostitute! So get on with earning an honest living and do not let what happened 10 years ago still continue to haunt you.
Love is not just a nice romantic feeling towards another person. Rather it is a commitment to be true to them and to always treat them in a dignified manner.
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