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I am dating a married man

Dear Pastor
I am dating a married man and our relationship has reached an advanced stage. Is this workable on long term? Kindly advise.
ANS: Lady, you are playing with fire! (Proverb 6:25-29). The cycle of the love affair with a married man almost always ends in broken hearts, hurt, and wasted time.
Sure you have those once in a million times where the man actually leaves his wife for you, but for the most part, it is a script for adultery disaster.
The love affair with the married man starts with a man who married for the wrong reasons and thus never truly felt fulfilled in his commitment to his wife.
The married man wants to fill a void. However, filling the void may backfire on him, as the relationship may escalate from occasional lunches during work hours or early dinners to the more intimate texting  and instant messages all night long.
By this time, I bet you are already aware of the fact that he is unhappy in his marriage and the more time you spend with him you make sure you plea your case as to why he should be with you instead.
Lady, I repeat you’re playing with fire! If you are a true Christian and God fearing you need to think twice about that relationship. You have to take a bold step and back off otherwise things may not go your way!!
God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and if you happen to be fueling it, you will find yourself at cross road and the end may be terrible. (Proverbs 16:25). Think about it seriously. Blessings!
My husband has become abusive!
Dear pastor,
My husband became abusive, even threatening my life. He filed for divorce. I counter sued because I was now tired, then he withdrew but I don’t believe he is genuine.
ANS: Dear madam thanks for finding time to get in touch with Godly Counsel.
If your partner becomes abusive and violent to the level of threatening your life, that is dangerous and unacceptable. Why should you lose your precious life for the sake of marriage?
The Bible advises: “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart, a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases but God has called us to peace”. (I Corinthians 7:15).
God’s desire and profound expectation from couples is that they live a peaceful marriage life. Other than that, there is no need of living together.
You have just hinted to me that you have counter sued your husband and in this case I would advise that you allow the due process of the law to take its course and see how far it will go.
However, given the fact that your husband has withdrawn his court suit, this should be the beginning of his reformation.
If you can settle outside court with the help of your church and families the better. This of course should be coupled with fruits of repentance to guarantee you safety and peace if you are to reconcile.
Why do we reject God?
Dear Pastor,
While the life of faith is full of beautiful, intimate experiences with God, there are also those “other” seasons.
Sometimes we’re just spiritual grumps, aren’t we? We’re mad or lonely, apathetic or bitter, guilty or distant.
ANS:  Well folk, thankfully, Scripture is peopled with other humans who went through similar experiences and we see struggles like these in full display in Psalms.
From prayers of vengeance to cries of despair, the Psalms illustrate how we can come to God exactly as we are.
“Because I am righteous, I will see you. When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied.”  Psalm 17:15.
There is so much cause for dissatisfaction in the course of one single day. You can try to get a grip on your own life, your own choices and plans, but not having control over anybody else’s life means that we all wander around frustrating others and being frustrated by them.
As for you and me, though, we shall be satisfied. And the source, the substance of our satisfaction, will be his likeness; the likeness of the one to whom the Psalm is written. Who, in the very image and nature of God, became man so that we, even we, could look into his face and hear his voice and be satisfied.
There was nothing about him that would have made us take a second look. But that he called our name, and lifted up our head, and gathered up all the frustration and difficulty into himself.
So, I shall be satisfied yet more when I behold him face to face; but I am pretty satisfied now, known as I am, by him and not another. Look up to Him every day! Blessings!
Love lines:
Dear Pastor
I am a Christian lady aged 34, looking 4 a marriage partner, status negative, interested persons should contact: 0950561236, with or without children, aged 35-49.
Dear Pastor,
I am a man aged 32 looking for a single lady to marry. 0961-630389.
Dear Pastor,
I am a lady aged 28, looking for serious single man. 0969-262922.
Dear Pastor,
I am lady aged 21 looking for a man to marry aged 26-29. I completed school last year, we should wed before the end of this year.
Dear Pastor,
I am a man aged 43 HIV positive God fearing looking for a serious lady aged 25-35, HIV positive, hardworking and God fearing. Call or text 0969-325632.
Dear Pastor,
I am a man aged 31 looking for a female friend, nurse or teacher aged 24-28. Can call 0978-021710. Only beautiful and serious ladies should call from all over Zambia.
Dear Pastor,
I am a man aged 44 looking for a serious light brown single lady without children aged 23-37. Text or call 0975-775035.
Tip of the week
Marriage: “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord”. (I Corinthians 7:39). Blessings!
More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Meanwhile let’s continue interacting via email or or sms 0967/0955-778068. Emailing is encouraged for quick response.

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