Gender

House-wives contribute fairly, squarely too

SPEAK OUT ON VIOLENCE with DORIS KASOTE
PEOPLE are always quick to judge others and labelling them as undesirable for marriage.  Is there really a manual when it comes to matters of the heart?
Marriage is between two people and if the two jell well together, who is a third person to complain about such a union.
Today’s topic stems from a complaint from one of the readers who complained that she has no problem with her husband but his relatives.
She says she has for a long time been looking after her husband’s relatives who are unappreciative of her kindness.
Whenever they visit, some of her husband’s siblings freely walk in and out of the couple’s bedroom.  When she complains, her in-laws tell her that the house belongs to their brother and she has no say.
The woman is a housewife while the husband is a teacher.  The couple has three children together.  Her husband is reserved and sometimes allows his siblings to walk all over him.  He is the breadwinner of the family and every time he tries to put them in check about their conduct, the family rudely reminds him that he is what he is because of the sacrifices the family made.
There has been no one else in the family who has gone as far as tertiary education and the rest of the siblings feel it is because of him they were ‘denied’ that right.
The family also feels he should have done better by marrying a career woman as opposed to one who merely stays home to wait for bread and butter.   To them, the brother marrying has destroyed the bonds that existed in their family.
One would wonder what makes some families feel because a woman is a housewife, then she makes little or no contribution towards the well-being of a home.
By her ensuring that her husband goes to work looking smart and well fed, is a major contribution. Spouses also share moments that are only known to the two of them.  Such little things are efforts to make a marriage work.
Family, whether from the husband or the wife, need to come to terms with whoever their relative decides to settle down with and see how best they can get along.
Such stories are not strange and the result is that they have a strain on the man who usually decides to withdraw from his siblings and parents to enjoy peace in his or her marriage.
Certainly, there are situations that need the indulgence of the family but a sister-in-law should never be viewed as an intruder. She should be embraced and loved as being part of the family and see how best, both as a nuclear and extended family, they can move on positively as one big happy family.
Until next week:
Let’s keep in touch;
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

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