Gender Gender

Habits that wives should get rid of

Life & Life Issues with EMMANUEL MUKULA
A WOMAN who has been married for decades should know that it is still important to prioritise her husband’s needs and wants.
Married women should be cautious of their attitude and how they talk to their spouses as anything short of good has the potential to fuel marital disputes.
The question is: ‘What should a wife stop doing if she wants to improve the relationship with her spouse?” For me, that’s a million-dollar question, but the simple answer is, stop embracing the notion that your way is always the “right” way. If he does something differently, it does not mean he is wrong.
When a wife insists on having her way, in essence, she is saying “I have to be in control” and that brings problems in a home.
Do not put other people or things before your husband because God designed companionship in marriage so that a husband and wife can meet each other halfway for an intimate relationship. If you choose to spend an afternoon shopping with your mother, when your husband asked you to accompany him somewhere, you might leave him to think he is second choice.
Stop nagging and desist from snapping at your husband in front of other people. A wise woman is always mindful of how she speaks to her husband. A married woman should talk to her spouse with respect and allow her words to build him. Before she speaks, she must weigh her words. Ask yourself: “Are my words needed and are they an encouragement?” Proverbs 10:19 says: “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”
Do not use sex to bargain with your husband. Some women intentionally or unintentionally say to their husbands, “When I get what I want, then you will get sex.” However, 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 reminds husbands and wives that their bodies are not their own. Submit to your husband and make it easier for him to love you.
Take it easy on your husband and stop giving him a to-do list like he has nothing constructive to do. Do not overwhelm your husband with too much information about what he needs to do for you, but yet again, do not assume he knows all you want because he is not a magician. So be specific about your requests. You need to realise that the only way he will know your needs is when you tell him.
Lastly, your problems are not for all people to know. However, never look to a book to fix problems in your marriage. Instead, turn to God and believe and act on the things that he says. “God has already given us everything we need for life and godliness”, (2 Peter 1:3), but we have to live according to the promises and expect him to show up for us. Love never gives up and it does not keep scores of the sins of others. Trust God to sort your problems, out always.
For questions and contributions email emmymukula@gmail.com or follow me on facebook or LinkedIn at Emmanuel Mukula’.

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