Gender Gender Life and Style

Work on cracks to enjoy marriage: Reactions

Love & Life Issues with EMMANUEL MUKULA
TODAY I want to take some time and respond to one of the emails I received after that last article. I hope and pray that someone picks a lesson from it and finds help in my response to it.
Dear Mr Mukula,
I am 37 and my wife is 32. We got married in December last year and I love her so much and she loves me. She is God-fearing too. The problem is that six months ago a distant cousin of mine started flirting with me on text and I just played along with no intentions of doing anything with her. She could text me very late at night saying I have missed you and I want to spend time with you and I led her on.
I didn’t know that my wife used to read the messages. Three months ago, my wife gave birth to our lovely son and immediately moved out, to rent a flat with our son. She just left a letter saying if I can carelessly chat like that with my cousin, then I don’t know what I want and when I am ready to grow up I should let her know.
This cousin is one of those with too much chibeleshi. I never did anything with her but I know our messages looked suspicious and I should not have entertained her.
I have asked Bana Chimbusa to talk to my wife, she says my wife knew a long time ago and was waiting to give birth before she could leave. I have not cheated Ba Emmanuel – What do I do?
Mr EK
Dear Mr EK – As a married man and at your age, you need to know that there is nothing that threatens the security of your wife than the thought of another woman taking her place. In this case, it is even more disappointing to learn that this threat is a relative.
I am sure her thoughts are that if that cousin of yours lived near you or came to your house, you would probably be sleeping with her under your wife’s nose. What if it were her chatting like that with her cousin?
Well, I don’t blame her for saying that you don’t know what you want and I am sure she now doubts your love for her because your actions don’t support your words. I don’t support the actions of both you and your wife. You both need to grow up and learn to communicate.
Honestly, if your wife was mature enough, she should have immediately told you to stop what you were doing with your cousin and should not have waited to give birth and write a letter, only to leave with the baby. Go to where your wife is and apologise and assure her of your love and commitment to her and stop flirting with your cousin. Lastly, I wish to agree with your wife that you have some serious growing up to do and at your age, you can surely do better before you lose her.
For questions and contributions – send to emmymukula@gmail.com

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