Analysis:  MARTHA MUNALULA
LISTENING to conversations and views about a married woman who beat up another married woman suspected to have been having an affair with her husband, left me puzzled.
Recently on a public transport bus, I sat next to a lady who was showing the video to a friend.
The conversation became hot when this lady sympathised with the one who was ‘abused’. Then one man on the same bus boldly blamed the women and gave his reasons. Among the reasons the man advanced were that even if the other woman was unsatisfied in her marriage, she should not have resorted to an affair. “An affair is never justified,” he said.
“This is because going out with a married person is tampering with what is holy,” he condemned.
Furthermore, he condemned the treatment that was inflicted on the ‘victim’ but cautioned that it would act as a lesson to the future offenders.
As I disembarked from the bus, I gave it a thought and decided to write this piece.
Though we underrate ourselves, women are noble creatures. God created a woman out of man to complement him (man). It is commonly said that women’s intuitions are very strong and usually right. Women are also said to have a sixth sense, a character of sound vision.
In his creation, God gave humanity the freedom of choice. Both male and female have this freedom. Most of the sins we commit are by choice. Citing examples from the Bible, I believe Eve, Adam, David and most persons in the Bible who sinned, transgressed by choice. It is therefore important to make good choices that would not jeopardise our relationship with family, neighbours and God.
Going back to the video circulating on social media, I feel women still hold the key. I am not supporting the man involved, NO! But if I will be a victim of circumstances, I would rather protect my integrity. One cannot die from refusing to commit adultery. You still have a choice.
My prayer is that you make the right choice in the eyes of your family and your neighbour, as bad choices would jeopardise your relationship with your God as well.
However, there are exceptions where married men or women lie that they are not married, making other women or men to unknowingly commit adultery.
And every Christian knows God’s stance about fornication and adultery.
The Bible in John 8: 3 – 4, the woman who was almost stoned for committing adultery did not commit that sin alone. But society condemned the woman. Where was the man?
It could be said that even in Jesus’ time, a woman was more victimised by society than a man irrespective of partaking in the same sin. Maybe this is because of the way society perceives a woman. Society, however, believes that a man’s job is to pursue a woman but a responsible woman’s role is to say no if they are in a serious relationship.
Irrespective of how society views women, I strongly believe that women must take serious stands in life, otherwise they will continue being found in such humiliating situations.
God blesses differently. For example, some have a good “life,” others are married, and others are not. Some have children while others do not have. Others wish they got married earlier, while others wish they never got married at all or had no children.
The devil is taking advantage of situations and using people to achieve his objectives. Every day as we make decisions, no matter how small they could be perceived, it all points to the great controversy of choice.
If a married person, for whatever reason, decides to start an affair, that person is mocking himself/ herself. God provides a husband/ wife to individuals. When God blesses you with marriage and you break it with your own hands, don’t play victim. Remember, what God has put together, let no man put asunder. Marriage is good but not always rosy. With God’s guidance, however, it is possible to have a prosperous marriage.
As women, we should be looking at the long-term benefits of a marriage as an institution of God and the basis for recreation and society enhancement. Let us take things that really matter to our lives seriously.
Desperation is making a lot of people lose their marriages or even marry for the sake of getting married. The result of such actions is usually devastation and children become the most overlooked victims.
For me, I believe we can make a difference. Prostitution is on the rise and the consequences are that our lives, families, friends and our country at large are under siege.
When two people are involved in a wrong, both men and women have the responsibility and no one should play victim. Always remember, you have a choice. And in instances of offence, there are no victors or losers because we all have to face the shame.
The author is a senior television producer with NAIS.