Gender Gender

Wives, know how to talk to husbands

Love & Life Issues with EMMANUEL MUKULA
SOME women complain that their husbands don’t understand them.
They say the man is being difficult. Sadly, the woman gives up and the issue grows and becomes destructive especially when the woman retreats into her own corner, becomes combative and tries everything to show that the man is to blame.
Your husband probably doesn’t listen to you because of your approach towards him.
It matters how you approach your husband.
There are a few suggestions on how best to engage your man. One of them is a woman watching their tone. When a woman is upset or frustrated, her tone is rude.
Don’t engage him when he is tired or has had a few to drink. If your husband is intoxicated, don’t bother yourself to talk about serious issues or even pleading with him to stop drinking. Wait till he is sober to have a meaningful talk .Don’t confront him in front of the children.
Don’t accuse him falsely on things you have no proof of. Many women do this. This is the easiest way to make him feel unappreciated and to break the delicate fabric of trust between you two. Before you jump to conclusions, ask him questions politely. Don’t interrogate, politely ask
A man loses respect for a woman who causes a scene in public or in front of family or friends. If you want to introduce a topic that has been bothering you, hold on to it.
Prepare him his favourite meal, do things that make him feel good, while he is in a good mood, lovingly introduce the issue for discussion respectfully.
A mature woman is always in control of her emotions. If the issue is serious, be prepared for a conversation that will be heavy on your heart and make sure you do not use disrespectful language towards each other.
Insulting him or parading his weaknesses and past mistakes will complicate things. You need him to know you are on the same team
Don’t introduce other people’s opinions in your discussions. Don’t show him you value other people’s opinions more than his. Don’t show him you are in a habit of comparing your marriage to others.
If you want a man to feel appreciated, praise him for the good he does, whether big or small. He will be encouraged. When you make him feel like a hero each time he pleases you, he will love pleasing you and will listen to you more. He should never feel disrespected by the woman he is committed to.
Men get unsettled by the words ‘We need to talk’. Ease off the pressure by not putting him on the hot seat. Don’t push him and don’t pressure him to conclude the issue. If he needs time to think through what you have talked with him about, give him time.
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