Couples Life and Style

My wife sleeps with her clothes on

Dear Pastor,
I have stayed with my wife for 24 years. The problem is that she likes sleeping with clothes on. Is it normal for a married woman to sleep with clothes on? I am fed up; should I chase her. Please I need your counsel.
ANS: Sir, I must confess that I am disturbed by your problem! Not because of your wife’s decision to sleep in her matrimonial bed fully-clothed but by the fact that after 24 years of marriage you are not able to speak to your wife about this “bedroom matter”.
This is an issue that should have been easily discussed between the two of you. I suspect that you no longer see your wife as your valued bride and helper and instead you see her as a tool to be used as and when you desire.
Communication between husband and wife is very important and I fail to understand how chasing your wife is even being considered as an option.
If the matter is regarding her denying you conjugal rights then that is what should have been raised. (I Corinthians 7:3-5).
After 24 years of marriage, I suspect your wife is drawing closer to menopause. This is a sensitive time for women as their bodies are affected by dropping hormone levels which affects them physically and emotionally.
Perhaps, your wife is no longer comfortable being intimate with you or she maybe uncomfortable with her body. Either way, you must talk to her and establish why she behaves the way she does. I wish you well, blessings!


I was diagnosed with herpes simplex
Dear Pastor,
I am a married man aged 42. I have been living positively for the past 10 years and have three children. During a routine medical review in 2013, I was diagnosed with yet another problem of herpes simplex and was given some medication. Now these sores come and disappear so often, though we use condoms with my wife as advised by the doctor. What can I do, please I need your help.
ANS: Brother thanks for your text and time to write to this column. Your condition definitely needs medical attention. Don’t be discouraged yet, with your trust in God. I urge you to soldier on in prayer. Open up to your health care-giver about your experiences and ask your doctor to explain to you fully the cause and remedy. Congratulations so far for sticking to the ART regimen. (Hebrews 13:5-6). Blessings!


My woman is always rough, insolent
Dear Pastor,
I am man aged 27 and in love with a woman aged 31. She is working and I am not. She does not respect me and is always rough on me. She insults me as if I am a child and always talks of her ex-lover. I love her, man of God, please advise me. I will appreciate your quick response. Remain blessed.
ANS: My brother! Have you ever heard of the unequally-yoked oxen? For any relationship to succeed there must be balance. This woman is older than you and she is working while you are not. You also say she always insults you.
If you still lover her and able to cope with her behaviour, then there is no problem.
However going by your request for advice it is clear you are bothered by her behaviour.
Take time to reflect on her conduct and how it will affect relations with your family and friends. Are you convinced this is the kind of woman you want to spend your life with and eventually mother your children? These questions need sincere answers from you.
On the other hand you also need to do an introspection of your life and probably find ways you can inspire her and earn her respect. If I may ask, are you involved in any income-generating venture? It is important for you as a man to be able to provide for your partner and so I urge you to build yourself up into a man that can stand on his own feet. Blessings!

Hubby has child with another woman
Dear Pastor,
I am a lady aged 30 and married for six years with one child. Ever since our early years in marriage, my husband has been unfaithful. I found out that he has a child with a lady we confronted with the marriage counsellor. My heart is broken and I came to an extent of lying to him that I’m pregnant hoping he would change. Please advise me.
ANS: Thanks for your text. Sister, I am sorry that you are in a situation where you feel that you have to lie to salvage your marriage.
I cannot believe that your marriage counsellor could have just left the matter of the other child hanging.
What advice did your families give? What has your husband said? Is your husband still with you? Through it all, turn to God to heal your broken heart and seek counsel through the church or family to help resolve this situation. (Psalm 25:14-20) Blessings!

I like your column

Dear Pastor
I like your Sunday Mail page though too limited. I appeal to you to create enough space to cover more people and those who are single living with HIV.

Dear Reader,
I appreciate your text and request for more space on this page. By virtue of this text, your concern has been forwarded to the editor of this esteemed and widely read newspaper. Thank you for your continued patronage. Blessings!

Love lines
Dear Pastor
I am a female aged 41, HIV-positive looking for a serious male in an HIV status as mine, God-fearing. I am a Christian filled with the Holy Spirit. Serious man to call 0955-950529.
Dear Pastor
I am a man aged 22 looking for a lady aged 22-27 to marry. May God bless you. Call 0964-807082
Dear Pastor
I am lady aged 24, looking for serious God-fearing man age 26 to 30 must be educated. Call or SMS on 0966-432971.
Dear Pastor,
I am a man aged 29 looking for a serious and God-fearing lady aged 20-22 to call 0963-826852.
Dear Pastor
I am a singe lady aged 19 looking for a single man aged 25-30. If anyone is interested call me on 0953-414742.
Tip of the Week
Marriage: God expects us to resolve all marital problems without having divorce as an option. All problems have got solutions. (Matthew 19:3-10, Romans 7:1-3). Blessings!
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