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My wife insults, assaults me

GODLY COUNSEL with EVANGELIST KATAI
Pastor
I am a married man aged 35 with four children. My wife insults and assaults me whenever she feels like. When she does that, her family only promises that she will change yet she does not. When I fight back, everyone turns against me.  Worse still even when she knows she is wrong, she does not apologise and never appreciates anything I do. What she knows best is to hurl insults at me. I work in Ndola but visit home every month-end. Unfortunately, I have contracted gonorrhea from her.  Please advise on the way forward.

ANS: Traditionally, it is said if a couple does not fight, then the two don’t love each other. This is not true. This is a lie from the devil. True marriage is anchored on peace and love, though there are ups and downs. God is a peaceful God and wants His children to enjoy peace. I suggest that both of you rediscover the real you in Christ. Without knowing and being in Christ you will be fighting until you die. Re-organise your marriage by starting all over again. Your wife needs to be reminded of her responsibility of submission and mutual respect. (Ephesians 5:21-22)  Reset your marriage compass by inviting a clergy who can speak authoritatively in your relationship. Blessings!
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I found a used condom in his pockets

Dear Pastor
I thank you for what you are doing. I get encouraged every Sunday when I read Godly Counsel. I am 31 years old and have been married for six years to a 39-year-old man. I have two children with him. My husband is loving, caring and God-fearing. But I became heart-broken when I found a used condom in his pockets. He apologised but refused to tell me who he slept with. Every time I look at him I feel pain. Will I be wrong if I divorce him? I don’t know what to do, kindly help me.

ANS: Sis thanks a lot for this query. Indeed you can be confused given the fact that your husband has given you a wrong impression of his true character. You have been made to believe that he is a loving, caring and God fearing man and yet behind the scenes does something to the contrary. This is the betrayal of the worst kind. However, I feel you should not jump to conclusions. You have just mentioned to me that your husband has apologised to you, which in itself is a good gesture to lead the way to your spiritual recovery. If your husband was truly remorseful and has promised to change and become a true believer, it is worth giving him a benefit of doubt. If both of you can reconcile and agree on a way forward with the help of your pastor the better.  Knowing the woman he slept with may not be necessary. Try your best to forgive, reconcile and live happily again. (Mark 10:1-12). Blessings!
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I can’t trust my husband anymore
Dear Pastor
Good day pastor. I am a woman aged 29 and have been married for four years. My problem is I just discovered that my husband is cheating on me yet he still confesses he loves and cares for me. I am scared I might get infected with a Sexually Transmitted Infection. I love him but I can’t trust him anymore. What do I do? God bless you.

ANS: Thanks sis for your text. It will be very difficult to live with one you don’t trust. It is better to come to terms with reality. Speak seriously about your relationship with your husband. Remind him of how much you love and treasure him. Ask him what is it that he is looking for out there which is not in your home. If he does not go to church introduce him to your pastor and let him get help from Church. God’s real word transforms, try it today. (Romans 12:1-2). Blessings!
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My boyfriend’s sister and I at loggerheads
Pastor
How are you? I am at the same college with my boyfriend’s sister. The problem is she stopped talking to me and started telling lies about me to her mother. Until now we don’t talk, please help me.

ANS: Sis, I am fine thanks, hoping you too. As college-mates you cannot avoid talking to each other. If I were you, I would make every effort to make peace with her. Apologise to her for whatever transpired between the two of you and bury your differences. (Colossians 3:12-14) Blessings!
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My boyfriend is demanding sex
Pastor,  greetings
I am a woman aged 28 and a virgin. Early this year I started dating a man aged 32 who I have fallen in love with. The problem is that this man wants to have sex with me but I don’t want to because sex is for married couples. Pastor, this man says he will leave me if I do not have sex with him and I don’t want to lose him, please help me.

ANS: Lady, thanks for being principled. As I have said before and will say it again, men who demand sex before marriage are not serious – most of them are playboys. Primarily, sex is meant for procreation and not for pleasure or fun. If a man can make such a demand, he does not respect you. He only wants to use you. A woman should be respected. Please don’t give in. If he really wants sex with you, advise him to accelerate the process of marriage so that you can get married and enjoy the benefits of the institution. Sex before marriage is fornication, please abstain. (I Corinthians 5:9-11, 6:12-20). Blessings!
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Pastor
I am looking for a woman to marry below 32 on ART with one or two children, working or not, business minded, very ready to marry any tribe. I am a Ndola resident. Call or sms 0967-652918.
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Pastor
I am 34 with child, a serious humble lady, 22-32 must call or sms 0950222332.
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Pastor
Greetings, I am a lady aged 42 and love to have a male friend for possible marriage. I want a friend who would not use sex as a basis for a relationship. Interested and serious men contact 0976-501028.
Tip of the week
Marriage: Although forgiveness is offered to us as a free gift, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t cost us something. It costs us our dignity to admit our sin, that we are helpless before God without Christ’s redemption. In your marriage extend a leaf of forgiveness to your partner no matter the gravity of the offence. Blessings!
More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Meanwhile let’s continue interacting via email pkatai@yahoo.com or thabokatai@gmail.com or sms 0967/0955-778068.

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