Gender Gender

When couples differ over food

Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
THERE is video that has gone viral where a couple get physical after the husband demands food. This infuriates the husband, who begins to slap and kick the woman. Besides her bleeding, she stands her ground that she will not give the man any food because he does not provide for the family.

This happens in full view of members of the community. At the beginning of the video, the woman is doing household chores when the man arrives and demands to be served food he did not ‘provide’.
The woman asks him where she is supposed to get money to feed the family if he does not provide the finances. The man accuses her of being insolent.
From there, all hell breaks loose. What is seen is the couple kicking, slapping, pulling and insulting each other.
As I watched the video, it got me thinking that if the woman’s claims were true, which man in his normal senses would demand for food he did not provide? Where does he expect the woman to get money to fend for the family?
In the instance that the woman is a housewife, she depends on the man to provide finances to adequately run a home. This is not to say that when a woman is a housewife, she should not make an effort to contribute to the family by finding even a small business to generate an income. But truth be told, a man needs to take charge.
A man needs to ensure that his family is as comfortable as possible. Even the Bible is clear that a man is the head of a home, so why would a responsible man burden his responsibilities on a woman in totality.
There are couples where a woman is in formal employment while the man is not, but that should not in any way make a man complacent and expect the woman to run around and make ends meet for the family.
This is how some men have earned themselves the name ‘John solye ubwali’ (John come and eat) and surprisingly some men don’t mind. They shamelessly feed off women.
Some men do nothing but drive their wives’ car. Other men even go to the extent of impressing other women by using the wife’s bank cards.
This has become a common feature and such men prey on women who are desperate to be in a relationship.
A relationship should be ‘give and take’. It should not be one-sided, where one is drained to a point of dehydration. It is morally wrong and unfair.
I suppose men know which women to feed off. Such men know their prey very well and promise them sweet little nothings, but one gets tired of them if a man is merely being lazy.
Until next week, let’s keep in touch.
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

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