Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
WHEN I sit and chat with my friends, various stories come up which I also hear discussed in kitchen parties and other places.
The discussions are about married women who get involved in extra-marital relationships with married men.
It is said the practice is so common now unlike before when women were known to be conservative and keepers of their marriages.
Therefore I ask myself: What could be the reason for this? Is it that women are no longer content with their spouses or is it for the love of material needs, which their husbands may not manage to provide?
I therefore took time to explore the reasons behind this behaviour and I observed that women are in high competition with each other as to who has a better husband or whose husband is more ‘loaded’ and provides for his wife and family adequately.
This scenario is worse among friends because they always discuss the latest car that their spouse bought for them or the mansion they have moved to, causing jealousy among those whose husbands cannot afford such. As they chit-chat among themselves, some envious women subtly begin to scheme how they can ‘land’ one of these rich guys.
For some of the women, they ensure that they interact a lot with their friends and their spouses and before you know it, one married woman and another married man begin to phone each other. Not that friendly interactions among married couples is wrong, but in this case, I am talking about that woman who has schemed to the extent that when a man makes advances towards her, she accepts. Not because of love but because she wants her financial needs met so that she can also be at the same level with her friends and talk about the Brazilian hair she managed to buy, the iPhone she finally got and the like. I, however, believe that a woman possesses the power to say no to such advances.
So this is how these illicit relationships begin and to sustain them, the woman as well as the man have to start lying that one is travelling out for work or a business trip or to attend to family matters in another town. One such escapade recently happened.
A man had no idea that his wife, together with her friends, led such a lifestyle of targeting a certain class of men in society. The woman had a habit of lying that she was working out of town or the country, yet she was out having fun with one man or the other.
This group of friends would giggle about how they were dumping men and making the men dance to their tune without their husbands knowing. To them, it was about affording the finer things in life.
One of the husbands to one of the women in the group of girls could not be fooled that his wife was too busy at work to the extent that she could not make time for her family. One weekend, when his wife told him she was taking a business trip, curiosity got the better of him and having an idea of the places his wife frequented, he decided to carry out some ‘detective’ work by going to a hotel he was informed his wife usually went to with her lover.
Waiting in the hotel lobby for hours, he was almost giving up when the elevator doors opened and lo and behold, there was his wife in another man’s embrace. The two were giggling and chatting away as they walked out of the hotel towards the car park without the woman noticing that her husband was in the lobby.
Confused by what he had just witnessed, the man took a drive to clear his mind because somewhere in his heart, he had hoped the rumours about his wife would be untrue. When he finally arrived home, there was his wife playing mother and acting all innocent. She told him she had just arrived from out of town and to cover up her misdeeds, the woman began to tell her husband how much she had made from her ‘trip’.
Gazing into her eyes with rage, the man bluntly told her that he was not stupid because he knew exactly where she had been and with whom. A vicious quarrel ensued and the woman shocked her husband further by revealing that the second child was not even his. The man was devastated. It was enough that the wife was a cheater but to add salt to the injury, she even lied that the six-year-old son he loved dearly was his biological son. This revelation crushed him.
Until next week, let’s keep in touch.
Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE