Gender Gender

What wives expect from husbands

Life & Life Issues with EMMANUEL MUKULA
AFTER being in marriage for some years now, I have come to discover that wives also have expectations which husbands are not aware of.
This lack of knowledge by men is due to the fact that men are raised to expect their needs to be met by their wives and not so much husbands going out of their way to meet their spouses’ needs.
Men, you need to know that your wives have expectations too such as a longing for you to compliment them for the hard work they do at home and the care they give to the family.
You need to know that many times, wives feel that their hard work goes unnoticed or taken for granted.
Look at the work a wife does for the family. She washes the dirty clothes, she cooks the meals and, to add on to that, she has to go for work or to run her business just so that the family can have their needs met.
I mean really, the least a man can do is show his wife that he appreciates and is thankful for the things she does to maintain the family.
However, the truth is that most men have a hard time understanding their wives despite being married to them for years. I’ve come to realise that men get easily frustrated with the mixed emotions that their wives display where one minute she’s perfectly fine and the next, she’s crying.
One moment she complains about something but when you offer advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t satisfied.
For some husbands, this has caused them to not bother about the inner needs or the expectations that their wives have.
Other men wonder how they can meet their wives’ expectations if they keep changing their anticipation.
Nevertheless, through my experience, I’ve learned to not worry so much about that but I have instead concentrated more on building mutual respect and love, without which the marriage is doomed.
I have observed that some couples have a tit-for-tat marriage arrangement, especially when it comes to resolving differences.
You’ll find that when a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love.
And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect. And the vicious cycle repeats itself. Stop this immature way of doing things. Show love to each other despite your flaws.
When you find that you are differing every day, work at spicing up your marriage with sweet little things that you did during courtship. Do exciting and different things every day.
Men, surprise your wives by helping out to baby-sit or do some house chores together. Make that wife of your youth feel special by pampering her. Just do something different every now and then to break the monotony.
Ensure to speak positively about your wife in the presence of your friends, family and work-mates.
Never should you try to compare her to another woman, your ex-wife or former girlfriend, or even a movie star.
Remember, you are not Sylvester Stallone or Denzel Washington for crying out loud, therefore, you don’t qualify to make comparisons. All your wife wants to know and believe is that she is the centre of your attention, so make her feel that way.
Lastly, I wish to urge men to take the role of a leader within their families, and that’s the problem with a lot of men these days.
Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re being led by their wives.
Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader.
And what better way to lead her than to build her into being a better and not bitter woman.
However, you can’t show her how to become better if you don’t work on yourself.
Therefore, you have to improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle and respectful way.
For questions and contributions, email emmymukula@gmail.com or follow me on Facebook or LinkedIn at Emmanuel Mukula.

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