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The danger of treating a man with kid gloves

Speak out on violence: DORIS KASOTE
HER mother usually advised her against spoiling her husband because in the long run, he would take her for granted.
She came from a wealthy background while the same could not be said about her husband. The couple lived in her house. The house that her father built for her while she was still in school.
When the two got married, they felt it best that they live in her house as opposed to paying rentals.
She was in formal employment while he was unemployed. He did attempt to venture into business but according to him, things never worked out as he expected.
In the end, she was the bread -winner while he stayed home and mostly did the school runs and attended to other family matters.
She had no problems with giving him a monthly allowance, using her car, paying the children’s school fees and just generally meeting the needs of her family.
This did not go down well with her mother who time and again warned her against spoiling a man to such levels.
She could not listen to anyone, she was in love. Six years in their marriage, the man started acting funny.
It all started with him not picking up the children from school on time. The school authorities would telephone her to inform her that their two children were tired of waiting to be picked up.
What followed next, was that he started keeping late nights and when she complained, his immediate reaction was that she was only reacting in such a manner, because the car was hers.
His habits developed from bad to worse. He would be seen driving around with different women. Sleeping out became a habit.
Regardless of how he was treating her, she continued giving him a monthly allowance.
She remembered her mother’s words. Her mother always advised her against spoiling her husband.
Even when she was heartbroken she did not give up on her marriage. She continued trying to pump sense into him until it hit her that the man was not remorseful about his actions.
Despite the house the couple were living in being hers, she moved out and left it for him.
She moved back to her parents’ house with her children. She went away with her car and stopped giving him a monthly allowance.
The man has continued to live in her house. For an income, he is sub-letting some rooms in the house.
He has refused to move out claiming the house is as much his as it is hers.
The house is run down as he does not even maintain it.
She has realised that trying to talk him to move out of her house will not work and has since filed for divorce.
She has vowed never to treat a man with kid gloves because all she got out of it was being emotionally hurt.
Until next week:
Let’s keep in touch;
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm



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