GODLY COUNSEL with PASTOR PHILLIP KATAI
Dear pastor,
I AM in a situation which is hard to understand and I need your advice. I am a 25-year-old man, teacher by profession and I happened to fall in love with a woman who is five years older than me (30) she is also a teacher and she was once married and has 2 children.

She explained to me how her first husband divorced her. Now we really love each other and I would love to spend my life with her, but the problem is I am scared to tell my family about her for they might not support my decision.
Now I need your advice on these listed issues
1. Is it ok to get married even though she is 5 years older than me and has kids?
2. If yes, how do I break the news to my family, because they will think there is something wrong with me to love her though she does not appear old to me.
ANS: Brother, greetings! Agape Love is something we all aspire for. 1 Corinthians 13 speaks of the type of love an individual must have for another – beyond selfishness and you do not truly love this woman.
A serious romantic relationship is not something that you would want to hide or even be able to hide from the public or your family. You say that you love this divorcee but your conduct speaks for itself.
If you truly love this woman you would not be seeking second opinion. The age difference is not an issue, your lack of maturity is – this woman has already been hurt by one man and I am sure she has placed great faith in you – thinking that you are ready.
The friendship you are enjoying now, does not come from your desire to provide a home and future for this woman and her children.
In my own considered view, you better break the news to the world now or never.
If you feel uncomfortable and cannot inform your family about your partner, I would advise that you apologise to this lady for pretending to be man enough to take responsibility for something that you are not yet prepared for otherwise wasting her time and energy to stay in a futureless relationship might end up in someone’s heart breaks. Blessings!
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Am I in God’s will?
Dear pastor,
I have a boyfriend who is always demanding for sex. Does the Bible forbid premarital sex, right? Am I in God’s will? How do I know that I am in God’s will?
ANS: My dear sister, there are some things about your life that God has not clearly revealed to you. Perhaps you do not know who you should marry, what job you should take, or how many children you will have.
Instead of spinning your wheels trying to figure out what you don’t know, work to be the centre of what God has revealed is His will for your life. As you seek love and marriage, God has given you some very clear guidelines of his will. Here is one of them:
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3).
Why would God reveal his specific will for you when you are not obeying his obvious will for you? For example, if you are sleeping with your boyfriend, know this is not God’s will for you. You have stepped out of the place of obediently seeking Him, and have chosen to make decisions based on your own desires. Sister, premarital sex is outside God’s prescription of marriage.
If you really want God to direct your steps toward the right man, be obedient to all you know He’s asked of you.
Read His Word, be faithful in prayer, keep your mind and your body pure, and give thanks for your current circumstances. God speaks to hearts that are prepared to listen and obey, nothing else! Blessings!
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I salute Mr. Confused
Dear pastor,
I salute that man who is so caring to the girlfriend (May 28, 2017 edition) those kinds of men are hard to find, only in dreams and imagination.
I hope to find a caring and understanding man like Mr. Confused, no need of checking the wallet and the phone. Trust tells it all you are real sir.
CN, Lusaka
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Love lines:
Dear pastor,
I am lady aged 35 with 3 children looking for a serious, God fearing, widower or divorcee. Contact 0955-373242.
Dear pastor,
I am man aged 25 looking for a single lady aged 20- 23, light within Lusaka or Kafue. Contact 0962-633215.
Dear pastor,
I am a lady aged 25 with a child looking for a God fearing man to marry me. Contact 0973-814168.
Dear pastor,
I am a man aged 24, looking for a lady to marry aged 18-26 with kids or without, your help is highly appreciated. Text or call on 0955-557165.
Dear pastor,
I am a lady aged 51 looking for a single man aged 50- 61 with a stable income for marriage. 0967-995961.
Tip of the week
Marriage: Having different likes and different opinions is fine as long as the two of you agree to disagree. Blessings!
More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday.
Meanwhile let’s continue interacting via email pkatai@yahoo.com or thabokatai@gmail.com or sms 0967/0955-778068. Emailing is encouraged for quick response.