Columnists Features

Should I divorce my wife?

GODLY COUNSEL with PASTOR PHILLIP KATAI
Dear pastor,
SHOULD I divorce my wife, who goes to her parents for three to four months, sometimes without my permission?
KK
ANS: Greetings brother KK. (Matthew 19:6-9). From this scripture, I am reminded of the Pharisees who asked Jesus Christ if it was lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause.

In answering this question, Jesus said in the beginning it was not so when God made them male and female, implying that they were meant for each other for a life-time.
Moses allowed the men of his time to divorce their wives because of the hardness of heart.
As for you brother, you have to consider the reasons your wife goes away to her parents for such a long time. You have not divulged much information regarding the status of your marriage. The foundation of your marriage could be a contributing factor.
I may not be wrong to speculate that the genesis of your marriage has a lot to do with your current status.
I am tempted to state in this manner owing to the fact that no sane parents could allow your beloved wife to stay with them, away from her matrimonial home for more 3 months without considering you and the marriage of their daughter, unless there is an ailing parent she is looking after.
It could be that you have not met most of your obligations as husband and son-in-law.
Perhaps, you started off with cohabiting and later considered the two of you as a married couple without fulfilling the legal requirements for a recognised marriage by both families.
In short, I am merely saying you have not formalised your marriage and this could be a form of ‘protest’ by your in-laws to keep her away for you to take a bold step to approach them for real settlement.
The other aspect, I think could also contribute to this issue is your ability to provide basic needs for her and children if any.
Marriage is not just fathering children but also provision of shelter, food and clothing.
Just in this column under love lives I have dealt with men who want to be looked after by women. Most men of this generation want women who are in stable employment, well to do and if possible who can do everything for them. So, I do not know which one you are.
My advice to you sir is to critically look at your contribution to this problem before you rush for divorce.
What is it you are doing or not doing that is sending her away from your home?
Further, where are your in-laws drawing strength to keep her away from you for such a period? Make a bold step today and see her parents and seek audience with them to settle the matter once and for all. Blessings!
***
Prophet impregnates church member?
Dear pastor,
A prophet, a founder of a church in Kabwe, aged 48, has allegedly impregnated a girl aged 22, a member of his church, and it is also believed he ran away from his wife in Lusaka.
He is saying no-one can suspend him for his behaviour because he is the founder of the church. The leaders have come to me for advice, I therefore seek your help before I can respond to them.
ANS: Dear brother, thanks for your concern over this man and the church. It is disheartening and appalling at the same time to learn from you that a prophet has impregnated someone who should be his spiritual daughter.
Folks, where are we heading to? The church, which is supposed to offer the much-needed solutions to the troubled world, is in the forefront doing the opposite.
Well, I believe the church has a constitution, like any other organisation, which stipulates how matters of a disciplinary nature like this one are handled.
The disciplinary code of the church can be applied. The local church leadership has a godly duty to remove immorality from among them. As the matter stands, it needs urgent attention and this will rescue other members who might fall in a similar trap.
The Apostle Paul advises (I Corinthians 5:2-5, you can read the whole chapter) that you remove such a person from the church.
It does not matter who has committed the wrong, whether founder or not, discipline has to be applied. The local leaders can assemble and decide the prophet’s fate.
According to the Apostle Paul, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, he should be suspended from all church duties.
The current leadership should take charge and choose someone who can head the church for now. (Acts 6:3)
Blessings!
***
Love lines:
Dear pastor,
I am a single lady aged 38 looking for a serious God-fearing man to marry. 0967-493836.
Dear pastor,
I am a lady aged 35, HIV positive looking for a serious man to marry. 0977-365307.
Dear pastor,
I am a lady aged 28 with 2 kids looking for a serious man who is ready to settle, aged 32-38, and catholic. 0972-616571.
Dear pastor,
I am a man aged 27, looking for a single lady to date aged 21-25. 0969-190058.
Dear pastor,
I am a man aged 47 in formal employment looking for a lady to marry aged 35-45 working as civil servant preferably a teacher, nurse or police officer serious ladies based in Lusaka must call on 0955-401222.
Dear pastor,
I am a man aged 32, looking for beautiful girlfriend aged 23-29 without child within Kabwe, God-fearing. Contact 0978-021710.
Tip of the week
Marriage: Marriage is not just fathering children but also provision of shelter, food and clothing. Blessings!
More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Meanwhile let’s continue interacting via email pkatai@yahoo.com or thabokatai@gmail.com or sms 0967/0955-778068. Emailing is encouraged for quick response.

 

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