Can we help? with PASTOR & MRS BANDA
Dear Raphael and Namukolo,
WITH reference to the debates on social media raised by the planned visit to Zambia by the South African erotic dancer Zodwa, my question is, can the hype, especially among the menfolk, be an indicator that something is lacking in our marriages? Should Christian wives get some lessons from Zodwa in order to enhance their bedroom performance? Christian wife.
Dear Christian wife,
Let us start with the conclusion. No. Christian wives should not learn anything from Zodwa. Now, let us explain how we have arrived at this conclusion.
For the sake of some readers who might not know who Zodwa is, she is not only an erotic dancer, but one who has gained notoriety through dressing skimpily and undressing in public.
The Bible calls what she is practising sexual immorality, which can be summarised under 3 Ps, namely perversion, prostitution and pornography. Her behaviour is a perversion because it objectifies women, it removes the sanctity of sex and marriage, and literally drags them into the mud. God did not create sex to be a stand-alone product but rather to be an intrinsic component of a loving marriage relationship. She thus dishonours, and makes her admirers to dishonour the marriage bed. Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.’
She practises prostitution because she is using her body to make money. That is the simple definition of prostitution. Thousands of men are committing heart adultery with her which Christ warns us is no different from the physical one. Matthew 5:28 ‘But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.’
Her behaviour is pornographic because her dressing (or is it undressing?) and manner of dancing are both tailored to stimulate sexual excitement in men.
God in no uncertain terms tells us that he hates such behaviour and that he will bring it to judgment. Galatians 5:19, 21. The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; … and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God’. Revelation 21:8 “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars – their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death’.
How then does God want his children to respond to such immoral behaviour?
We must not tolerate it. Revelation 2:20 Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols.’
What must have completely nothing to do with it. Ephesians 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Ephesians 5:11-12 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. (12) For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.’
Entertaining such behaviour will lead to death. Proverbs 7:21-27 ‘With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. (22) All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose (23) till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. (24) Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. (25) Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. (26) Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. (27) Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.’
Does the Christian wife stand to lose anything by having nothing to do with wicked women like Zodwa? There are those who argue that in spite of her wicked behaviour, Christian wives can still learn some tricks from her. Next week we are going to explore some practical challenges that Christian couples who think they can get some lessons from people like Zodwa face.
Our conclusions today do not in any way underestimate the amount of work that needs to be done in many Christian couples’ bedrooms. To this end we will go on to discuss some healthy ways of improving performance available to Christians.
Proverbs 5:18 ‘May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.’
Comments and suggestions email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Can we help? with PASTOR & MRS BANDA