LOVE & LIFE ISSUES with EMMANUEL MUKULA
I BELIEVE that getting married is easy, but it is certain that there will be challenges in the marriage and you have to stay in it and make it a success.
There are definitely going to be misunderstandings, arguments, disagreements, and conflicts in marriage, but it is the way that you handle those situations that will prove how willing you are to make the marriage work. There will be hurdles and storms in the marriage, but you have to overcome them.
Almost all marriages encounter problems and challenges sooner or later. Some marital problems and challenges can be predicted and avoided, while others are unforeseen and must be dealt with and resolved as they arise.
Marital problems and challenges are complex and there are no easy ways out or quick solutions. If the problems have been recurring over a long period of time, the marriage may be at a point of crisis. A marriage in crisis will be very painful to go through, but that does not mean the relationship should end.
In an unhappy marriage, the root of unhappiness is a lack of unconditional love and acceptance for each other. Unhappiness is caused in a relationship when you cannot accept your spouse for who he or she is. Controlling, demanding and unrealistic expectations from your spouse are just symptoms that cause unhappiness. When we stop seeing marriage as an obligation for our partner to fulfil our expectations and desires, and we see it as an opportunity to accept our spouse for who he or she is, happiness is guaranteed. To restore a relationship or a marriage, you have to re-adjust your expectations, desires and wants in the marriage.
If you want to restore your marriage, it is vital that you accept responsibility for your own mistakes, actions, inactions, behaviours in the relationship rather than putting the blame on your spouse and demanding that they should change. You cannot change or restore your relationship on your own. You will definitely need help from friends, family, experts and so on. Accept help from family, friends, your church members, staff, and others for whatever you need to make the marriage work.
Lastly, I wish to state that trust is the most important ingredient in a marriage relationship. It takes a very short time to destroy the trust someone has for you and a much longer time to rebuild it. Rebuilding trust requires that you consistently monitor your behaviour, being very careful how you treat each other. Rebuilding trust in an unhappy marriage is the major key in restoring a relationship. Give attention to your spouse, treat him or her with respect, show sincere appreciation, ask for his or her approval before making decisions, fulfil his or her sexual needs and show support, assure him or her of comfort and security.
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