Speak out on Violence: DORIS KASOTO
LAST week, I wrote about the importance of disciplining children which should not in any way be mistaken for abuse. Children need to be disciplined for them to take a responsible path in life.
Any child who has not developed child discipline lacks the required skill to face challenges and improve relationships.
Some children who grew up in luxury, have ended up as destitute because of lack of discipline.
I received some feedback from the readers and this is what they had to say:
As parents, we need to realise that disciplining children does not mean we do not love them or are probably abusing them as you put it. Society has seen children who have grown up spoilt by their parents, such that they do not even have the drive to aim high.
Once the parents are gone, such children end up living in abject poverty because they do not know how to deal with the various challenges of life. These children also fail to live with relatives because they are used to being treated with kid gloves.
In some situations, some parents who grew up in poverty, tend to overdo it with their children by spoiling them, not knowing that they are actually ‘killing’ their children.
I know of a family who lived in one of the residential areas in Lusaka, like in your story that was published in the Daily Mail dated May 31, 2017, the woman always defended her children such that the man took a back seat and saw his children get from bad to worse.
Even when these children would not want to go to school, the mother would keep it from the husband. See these children today, it is a sad state of affairs.
As a father, I feel some mothers are the worst culprits when it comes to rising to the defence of their children even over non sense.
Men can only do so much, especially that women spend more time with their children than fathers do.
I am not in any way distancing the men from the problem but this is the truth. For instance, if a man has to work from morning to evening and the woman is a house wife, she gets to spend more time with the children than the man.
Parents should learn to speak with one voice and not defend activities that will only derail the future of their children.
Reading your story last week, made me remember how I grew up. I was brought up by my uncle and aunt. My parents died when I was very young. I am grateful to the two people for taking me under their wings but I could see how much the couple favoured their own. I was obviously not expecting to be equal to their children but the treatment I got pushed me to work even harder at school.
I can say, I am relatively comfortable but can’t say the same for my cousins. It’s not strange that I receive phone calls from my aunt and uncle almost at the end of every month asking for money for their upkeep.
I have learnt that spoiling children is one of the worst mistakes parents can ever make. Once made, you can never turn back the clock.
Until next week:
Let’s keep in touch;