Gender Gender

Reactions: Nakonde divorcee struggling to make it

Speak Out on Violence with DORIS KASOTE
LAST week I ran a column on a divorcee of Nakonde who was struggling to make ends meet.  Fortunately she found a job as a maid in Lusaka.  Starting a new page in Lusaka, her focus was on her children and never ever to think about marriage again, especially that she came from an abusive marriage.
Her former husband did not even help her look after the children. However life in Lusaka turned out to be good for her. Her appearance improved and she did not lack especially that she was living with her employers.
Forgetting the abuse that she was subjected to in her previous marriage, she began to think of marriage again especially when she met a businessman who was ready to take her as a fourth wife.
Following this story, I received some reactions and below are some:
Doris,
I totally agree with your story carried last week that some woman will do anything to be married. For instance the story you carried last week (February 24) of a woman who is prepared to be fourth wife yet she was abused in her previous marriage.  Some women are amazing. Some women are in abusive relationships but stay in such marriages for the sake of being a ‘Mrs somebody’. These are the sort of relationships which end up as a tragic story.
Charles Kasia,
Lusaka
Hello,
My wife seems to agree with you a million percent on your very factual article.
But let me refer you to the Bible, in Isaiah 4v1;
“On that day, seven women will seize one man, saying, we will eat our bread and provide our own clothing. Let us just be called by your name. Take away our disgrace”
While this may be interpreted spiritually to mean people joining the church just because one wants to throw away the disgrace of not belonging to a church, this also has a literal interpretation which means women going to a man they fully are aware has a wife, so that they can have that man to talk about during ichibwanse.
What surprises me is that we had a UNZA graduate neighbour who had three semi-professional wives all having been to colleges. My wife hated the man like he was her husband. She did not even want me to speak to him.
But surely what offence did the man commit? He would have been accused of abusing women only if his wives were not working. Besides all of them were beautiful.
Mukuka Chilufya
Chambishi
Until next week;
Let’s keep in touch:
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

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