Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
LAST week, I wrote about a man whose wife has been having an affair with her boss. He has chosen to stay in the marriage for the sake of the children. The write-up was under the headline ‘Is marriage valuable nowadays?’ Below are some reactions:
This again is a big one Doris. I keenly follow your articles and this cannot pass without a comment. The story you cited in this article is not the only one. You will be surprised that there are many marriages which are just like this one. Although you have said little on the part of a man, I can confirm quite confidently that he has also some solace somewhere.
Coming to the question, “Is marriage valuable in our day?” the answer is a yes and no. Yes, because there are some marriages where husband and wife understand why they are in marriage. Marriages where husband and wife respect each other, and marriages that are framed on principles as taught by both the Bible and tradition.
The opposite, Doris, equally is true. We have marriages of convenience, marriages that are built on nothing, a pastime where each unity in that union does not care or understand why they are in marriage in the first place. A lot of factors are at play and I may not have the time and space to itemise them…
Thanks for now.
I have so much to say about marriage but all I can say is that I loved your write-up dated November 22, under the title ‘Is marriage valuable nowadays?’ To sum it up, marriage is a lot of work.
Keep up the good work.
I would like to comment on your article on marriage.
Particularly, my focus is on your words that are based on the assumption that high bride prices have affected the way men view women as either property or “equal partners in marriage”.
My feeling is that the issue of pretending that the ideal set-up for marriage is one where there are two heads in the home as is suggested by the phrase “equal partners” is exactly what is going wrong with our society today. So many stories that I have read about men being killed in their sleep come from women living under the notion that “he is not the head of me” or “who is he to tell me to stop clubbing every weekend? He is not my boss”. We need to be cautious of what we are feeding the girl child in the home.
From birth, the girl child is being taught that when you are married do not let that man push you around like you have no home. If anything goes wrong, just come back home. It is such philosophy that makes it very easy to break a marriage as soon as your “equal partner” tells you something you do not like.
We need to restore the fact that the husband is the head of the home. Does this mean he should beat his wife? No. But he is the head. It is possible for a husband to overrule a wife’s decision. That is what needs to be understood.
PAUL P MANDA
As always, your feedback is highly appreciated.
Let’s keep in touch, until next week.