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Our son is addicted to porn

Godly Counsel with PASTOR PHILLIP KATAI
MY HUSBAND and I are worried about our son who’s addicted to pornography. We have talked to him several times but to no avail. Is he demon possessed?

ANS: Thank you for taking a bold step to talk to your son about the danger of exposing himself to porn. Do not be weary or frustrated for not seeing results of your efforts to admonish him. As parents, you have a life time duty of speaking into the life of your son.
Imagine Abraham had influence over his son Isaac at 40 (Genesis 24), in spite of his age, as parents they still made decisions on his behalf to secure and safeguard his destiny.
The mistake the world is making today is to neglect the responsibility of guiding and disciplining of children all in the name of human rights.
As parents, we will do well to take a bold and pragmatic decision on behalf of the growing children to restrict them from the usage of smartphones.
And that is by fostering a family environment where mobile devices, internet surfing, and social networking are considered an extreme privilege instead of a right.
Our children are growing up never having known life apart from a smartphone which is resulting in an increasing number of them regularly viewing erotic images and videos before they even fully learn how to read.
My advice to you and every parent is: discuss issues related to sexuality openly and frequently. With young children, this means using the correct terminology for body parts, so they become comfortable with information about their sexuality right from the start.
Also, begin establishing the truth of the reality of pornography and the need to turn away from it.
Don’t just tell your kids not to look at porn, but share reasons why. Talk with them about how pornography can affect future relationships.
Communicate that it’s absolutely addictive, just like alcohol or tobacco. Let them know how it impacts the brain.
When the Holy Spirit allows our children to see others as Christ does – important valuable, esteemed, and loved, then our kids learn the true meaning of dignity. Blessings!
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Is oral sex okay for Christian couples?
Dear pastor
,
As a Christian woman, I find certain sexual practices weird. I have been hesitant to engage and accept some of my husband’s demands. As for a Christian couple, is oral sex okay? What is your view?
ANS: Thanks sis for text. Before we even get into discussing whether something is right or wrong in the bedroom, you cannot use a spade as a spoon and vice versa.
As with all areas of life, God’s instructions on sex can be found in the Bible. The Bible talks about sex a lot, but often the answers to sexual questions aren’t found in a chapter or verse (Hebrews 5:14).
There are some things the Bible is very clear about, particularly related to sex.
All of God’s people are still called to be morally pure, and sexuality is a big piece of moral purity. Moral purity means that sexual expression is reserved for the covenant of marriage between a husband and wife. God says “no” to certain violations and perversions of this.
Do you wish God had given you a list of sexual acts with a clear “yes” or “no” by each one? It sure would make things a lot easier.
But God, in his wisdom, has left some things open for a husband and wife to talk and pray through.
Ultimately, you have to seek his wisdom for your own marriage. If you and your husband disagree on a “gray area,” you will have to listen and learn to love each other through the decision.
After all, sex is a lot more than just sharing your body it’s a journey of intimacy. Figuring out boundaries together gives you great opportunities to seek the Lord’s wisdom, and to learn how to love each other more deeply than oral sex. Blessings!
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Love lines:
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Tip of the week
Marriage
: No matter the form it takes, violence has never built lasting and strong relationships. Blessings!
More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Meanwhile let’s continue interacting via email pkatai@yahoo.com or thabokatai@gmail.com or sms 0967/0955-778068. Emailing is encouraged for quick response.

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