TORN APART with BOYD PHIRI
PEOPLE get blessed in different ways. For instance, when someone sneezes, we say â€œbless you!â€ regardless of their sins.
Of course, we donâ€™t bless old folks in the hood who sneeze after inhaling powdered tobacco from their snuffs.
Donâ€™t ask me why. If I knew the answer, I would be sniffing powdered tobacco with old folks in the hood.
Imagine how blessed some old folks in downtrodden areas would be to have Godâ€™s name invoked in their addictions each time they sneezed after inhaling tobacco.
Needless to say, one does not have to count the number of times he has sneezed to consider himself blessed.
Well, thatâ€™s one type of blessing. When a mother gives birth, his hubby would tell friends that â€œwe are blessed with a childâ€.
When someone is sick, we wish them Godâ€™s blessings, and so we understand that the blessing is in the getting better.
There is spiritual blessing; God said â€œI will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visionsâ€ â€“ Joel 2:28.
One can be said to have been blessed when they become born again and baptised into the body of Christ.
However, it seems to me that when some people say they are blessed â€“ they are not only talking about blessings â€“ what kind of gifts God gives.
But they are also making a testimony about the flip side of blessings â€“ material blessings.
When a couple moves from the hood into their new home in a gated community, of course after enduring hard times, they look at one another and say, â€œWe are so blessedâ€.
So does a starving man who has been loitering the whole day proclaim a blessing on himself when he is offered food by a well-wisher. What about a vegetable/fruit vendor who bumps into a big buyer who offloads her/his burden by buying everything.
A brick-layer who lands a project to build a house from scratch to finish will claim blessings from above.
A taxi driver who is booked the whole day by a big shot will count his lucky stars because he will make a weekâ€™s cashing in a day.
He will for sure count his blessings because the money he will make for the remainder of the week will go into his pocket.
At markets and bars yesterday, restaurant owners and barmen did not believe their luck when supporters of the ruling Patriotic Front and opposition United Party for National Development descended on their food and drinks after the launch of their campaigns yesterday.
Guest houses and lodge owners bless God when they record over 90 percent room occupancy, what more if guests consume beverages and food?
In football, a striker considers himself blessed if he scores goals that win team points and earns his teammates the bonus.
A goalkeeper who keeps a clean sheet after 90 minutes, too, also looks up to heaven for his heroics.
A gambler, too, blesses God for minting a fortune despite Christians being against such practices.
For a prostitute who earns K30 per night, she will thank her ancestors on a night she digs gold and makes US$100.
However, nowadays there is a catchphrase among young ladies in the hood describing those who â€˜blessâ€™ them with material things.
Ever heard of a blesser? Many young ladies are redefining what it means to be blessed.
If you see a young lady with an expensive phone in the hood, the first thing she would say is that â€œMy blesser bought it for meâ€.
And every time a young lady receives a present, she tells her friends that â€œMy blesser gave me a presentâ€.
Donâ€™t be surprised if you hear someone in the hood telling a friend that her â€˜blesserâ€ took her for dinner last night.
In case you are wondering, a blesser, according to young women in the hood, means sugar daddy.
I am told young ladies in the hood consider this term a better way of hiding the shame of flirting with rich older men, who lavish gifts on them in return for their sexual favours.
In fact, blessers are in different levels. Level one consists of men who buy simple gifts like airtime for K20, cheap shoes and dresses etc.
I am told men in this category go for school-girls.
Those in level two can afford to buy expensive gifts like Brazillian hair and regularly â€˜blessâ€™ their girlfriends with K1,000 and K3,000.
â€˜Blessersâ€™ in level three pay rentals in high residetial areas for their girlfriends, buy cars and take their girlfriends on holiday to places like Dubai, Barhamas, Durban etc.
This is not all. There is also platinum. Men in this category go a step further by paying for the education of their girlfriends and building them academically.
Now you know. If you hear girls in the hood talking about â€˜blessersâ€™, donâ€™t be surprised.
I guess young men who go out with older women regard their women as â€œblessersâ€ as well.
TORN APART with BOYD PHIRI