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Never, ever live for anyone: Reactions

SPEAK OUT ON VILOENCE with DORIS KASOTE
THIS  week, I run with reactions from last week’s column where I brought out the issue of a woman hoping a man would change after they got married. The man was abusive before the marriage and the situation became worse once the couple tied the knot.
Dear Doris,
Your last article on how women hope to change a man after marriage gives an insight on most women’s psych. I always say you cannot change a leopard’s spots. A snake, is a snake, is a snake. It is very true to say that once we are in love we choose not to see or ignore certain bad habits our partner may have in the hope that once we say the magical words “I do” all things will change. Sadly they don’t. Let us live in the real world women. Let us not be desperate. If you see any character traits that you are not comfortable with in your man do not assume things will get better once you tie the knot.  They won’t. They will probably get worse because you’re now under the same roof getting to know every nook and cranny of your partner’s persona. Getting on each other’s nerves- granted there are good times too. Marriage is a lifetime commitment of companionship and love. Not a lifetime commitment of unhappiness and beatings.
Yours,
Bwalya.
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Dear Doris,
I write to you to comment on last week’s article about women who hope a man changes his bad habits after they get married. I believe whilst dating, the relationship between a man and a woman is supposed to be at its sweetest point. Once a man begins to show such savagery traits even before putting you in his house as a wife then just know that things will not get any better once that ring is on your finger. A man’s character can never be changed .The same traits he displays in courtship will be the very ones he will carry even into the marriage. So, Laura would have known that the beatings would have continued and gotten out of it sooner.
Yours,
Carol.
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And Eli writes:
Hello Doris,
I commend you for last week’s educative column.  Women need to value their worth and not always feel they have to have a man, even an abusive one to be complete.  I hope your story on Laura is an eye opener for other women that a man will only treat you the way you allow him.
Don’t allow society to dictate to you how to live your life.  What is the point in being in an unhappy marriage? Even around town, it is evident that some women are happier once they divorce with certain men.
All the best,
Eli.
***
Hi,
Women should know what to look for in men instead of being desperate.  They end up making the wrong choices.
Lloyd.
For comments: dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

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