Couples Life and Style

My husband has married another woman

GODLY COUNSEL with PASTOR KATAI
Dear pastor
Greetings, I have been following your columns in the Sunday Mail.
Well, my problem is that I have been on separation for 9 years now and during this time, my husband married again and he has two kids with the new wife, but supporting my daughter is an issue.
My question is, “how do I go about divorcing him?”  I want to be a free person.
Thanks

ANS: My sister, thank you for confiding in me. Nine years of separation is quite strange. In terms of the law – a separation of over 5 years is automatically seen as desertion. In other words, you are not a wife any more.
Unfortunately, many young people enter into marriage without taking time to consult family or church elders. This leads to a weak foundation that eventually crumbles.
It is clear that you are not able to communicate openly with the father of your child.
It would have been wise to engage the church or family in finding a solution to your situation.
Find courage now. Place your trust in God and go to your nearest local magistrate to sue the man for child maintenance.
Blessing!
***
My ex-girlfriend wants me back
Dear pastor,
Hope you and family are fine. I have been in a relationship for a year, with a lady and the problem is that our relationship was over at some point. The lady said that it is over and after a month, she wants me back. Please help.

ANS: Brother thanks for your text. It is a beautiful thing for two people to be in love, but when things seem to be failing from the beginning, it is better not to force things to avoid future heartaches.
She announced to you that your relationship was over, what is it that has come up for her to make a u-turn?
Did she stumble on the ‘better’ man who has since disappointed her? What are some of the reasons she has advanced to you?
These are some of the questions you have to ask yourself as you ponder on this issue.
This lady appears to me to be double minded and unstable in all that she wants in life. She is like a wave of the sea that is tossed here and there (James 1:6-7).
If you are not seeing any lady, I would advise that you take your time to learn about her movements and goals in life.
Do not rush to accept her back, until you prove her seriousness with issues to do with life and the future. Blessings!
***
Should we sell house and share money?
Dear pastor,
Greetings from Kabwe. I have two siblings. Our father died in 2005 and left a 10-bedroom house which is divided in two rooms. We are occupying two rooms and our stepmother and her child are in the other two rooms.
The rest of the rooms are occupied by tenants and rentals are collected by our step mother.
Each time we ask for some money from rentals, we are told there is no money whilst tenants confirm that they pay every month.
What should we do, sell the house and share the money or what? Please help.

ANS: Brother thanks for your text. Greetings from Lusaka, we’re all fine here hoping you too in Kabwe.
Your matter is a quite sensitive one in the sense that you’re all ‘benefiting’ for accommodation. You on part and your step mother on the other hand are sharing the same house.
Concerning your suggestion to sell it and share the money or not, you should not seem to be taking the law in your own hands.
Your suggestion may land you in troubled waters that you may not be able to come out.
The best way forward, with the involvement of other elderly family members is to appoint an administrator for the property.
Once this person is identified and agreed upon by all parties involved, go to the court of law for guidance and apportioning of your late father’s property.
The administrator will be in charge of the property, overseeing, maintenance and allocate fund from rentals to you all as ordered by the court.
If anything goes wrong the administrator can be dragged back to court for further direction and settlement.
Should all the parties involved agree to sell the house, the court will determine the portion for each child left behind by your late father and the administrator will be advised accordingly.
For now you, do not have authority to sell that house because you’re not the only beneficiary. Follow the law and all shall be well. Blessings!
***
Love lines:
Dear pastor,
I am a working man aged 26 looking for a serious single lady ‎who is also working without a child aged 20-24 my number is 0966-341274. Lusaka-based only.
Dear pastor,
I am a woman aged 47 looking for a hubby please only serious person to call 0954-433952.
Dear pastor,
I am a man aged 22 single looking for serious lady who is able to speak and write English. 0972-975652.
Dear pastor,
I am a lady aged 26, looking for a serious man who is single. 0969-262922.
Dear pastor,
I am a man aged 24 looking for a lady aged 18-25 to marry, a Christian. 0973-977330. No time wasters.
Dear pastor,
I am a lady aged 23, looking for a serious man who is single aged 30-35. 0963-835073.
Dear pastor,
I am a man aged 32 looking for serious lady to marry aged 22-26 teacher or doing meaningful business, no child truly Christian. 0979-239844.
Tip of the week
Marriage: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins”. (I Peter 4:8). Blessings!
More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Meanwhile let’s continue interacting via email pkatai@yahoo.com or thabokatai@gmail.com or sms 0967/0955-778068. Emailing is encouraged for quick response.

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