Godly Counsel with PASTOR PHILLIP KATAI
Some men are lazy and they are being looked after by their wives and my husband is one of them. He has to be pushed to do something to earn a living.
He is more comfortable being looked after by a woman. I feel I have provided enough for the family now, I have to call it quits. Is there a difference between “failure to provide” and “laziness”?
ANS: Sister, thanks for your question. Your question is a two sided coin. Some men may lose their jobs and this temporary loss of provision does not indicate laziness.
While often times the sin of laziness is directly linked to a man failing to provide for his family, this is not always the case.
What I believe laziness that God condemns is that of a man who chronically fails to provide, hates working and looks for any ways not to work.
He will allow his family to starve and it does not bother him, or he forces his wife to work while he sits in laziness doing nothing. This is the type of man God is targeting in Exodus 21:10-11.
But does this mean laziness on the part of a husband is acceptable before God? Absolutely not! God says in the book of Proverbs: “How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?” – Proverbs 6:9 (KJV).
If a hubby is disabled, it is a different story. God only expects us to do what we are able to do.
If a man is truly disabled then his wife may have to step into that primary provider role. What I am talking about here is an able bodied man that refuses to work and provide for his family.
God is clear in Exodus 21:10-11 that a woman is to be freed (allowed a divorce) from a husband that refuses to provide for her because in doing so he has breached the marriage covenant.
Here is Apostle Paul’s advice:
“For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:10 (KJV)
Our minds and bodies were not meant to lay around on a couch all day. Rather we were designed by God to be busy, both men and women. God wants us to be ambitious. Blessings!
My husband is a Moslem and I a Christian
I hope and pray that my text finds you in good and divine health.
I and my husband have been married for over 5 years now.
But the problem we are facing is how to raise children in a God fearing manner. My husband is a Moslem and I a Christian.
Being married and raising a family is not easy, and doing so with a husband who does not share your faith adds a whole new pile of challenges.
How do you handle the difference in philosophies and perspectives?
ANS: Dear madam, I am very fine thank you for coming through.
Your relationship sounds a bit complicated – unequally yoked. (II Corinthians 6:14-18).
Your question is like, how do you as a couple make it work? How do you stay together and raise your kids, despite disagreeing on something that is so foundational?
Well, here are some insights to help you build and maintain a strong relationship.
First step is to Pray. The power of prayer is undeniable. We cannot force anyone to put his or her faith in Christ, but we can pray for a conversion of the soul.
Remember that God hears your prayers. I John 5:14 says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us” (NIV).
Don’t underestimate this! God can change anything and anyone.
Respect each other’s beliefs, especially in front of your children. Never belittle your spouse in front of your kids.
You do not want to pit your children against their father. Agree to present both opinions with love and respect when your children have a question about faith.
It means not going behind your spouse’s back to tell your children that the other parent is wrong or mistaken in his beliefs.
You want to foster a good relationship between parents and children, and you also want your children to wrestle with tough questions and make up their own minds.
The other aspect is to resist the temptation to feel superior to your spouse because of your faith. Remember, it’s only by God’s grace that you’ve been saved (Ephesians 2:8-9).
And if you don’t have all the answers to your spouse’s questions, that’s fine. Humbly admit that you’re still learning and searching for answers too.
You are still united in marriage, even if you’re not united in faith. Don’t allow anything to crack that.
At the end of the day, you have to trust in the Lord. Your spouse may seem uninterested in your faith, but you never know what is teeming beneath the surface.
Continue to be faithful to God and loving toward your spouse. Continue to make your relationship a priority. Pray for your spouse and your kids. Respect his views and focus on what you have in common rather than the differences. Stand united.
Remember that God loves your spouse even more than you do, and he wants only good for you and your family. Blessings!
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Tip of the week
Marriage: Marriage is the one and only place that God has provided for sexual union. (I Corinthians 5:1, 6:16). Blessings!
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