Gender Gender

Marriage shouldn’t be used as bet to win a woman

Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
WHY should a man dangle the marriage carrot with intent of playing with women’s emotions?
Anyhow, some men do this because they believe that every woman is desperate for marriage and will do whatever it takes to be called a married woman.
True, some women are desperate for marriage and will allow a man to mistreat them in whichever way that man so feels.
This is regardless of finding out that such a particular man has more than one woman he is promising marriage to.
Unfortunately, some men will even brag that they very well know what women want to hear and that women are desperate for marriage.
In such situations, women should place themselves above any such manipulation from a man.
This is a story of how a woman waited for almost 10 years for a man who promised to marry her. Yes, 10 years, that is a lifetime if you ask me. The man manipulated the poor woman and she believed each and every story he told her.
The marriage story began when the two were dating in their younger age. After graduating from university, the woman found a job while the man went on to do his master’s degree out of the country. He pledged to the woman’s family that he would return to marry her.
The man was supposed to return after two years but stories began. He claimed he wanted to do some odd jobs to raise money for their wedding. The woman had no reason to doubt him. The two continued communicating though there were moments she would call and he would not pick up. He claimed he was busy.
He finally returned but the talk on marriage was dragging, he had one excuse after another. However, the two continued the relationship though he was clearly not ready to commit.
Months down the line, he claimed there were some things he needed to collect in the country where he was studying from. Clouded by love, she had no reason to doubt him. He told her he would be away for only a week.
A week turned to months until years passed and the man was nowhere to be seen. He stopped answering her calls and, finally, he even changed his number. She only learnt later from his friends that he married a woman he met in that country and that even when he returned to visit, his mission was to introduce the woman to his family. She did not even know that at the time he was around, he had travelled with his wife. She looks back at the 10 years she invested into the relationship, and it hurts.
Until next week, let’s keep in touch.
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

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