Gender Gender

Marriage desperation major cause of GBV – reactions

Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
I HAVE received feedback following last week’s write-up where I looked at how some women view marriage as the alpha and the omega of their lives. This has resulted into men taking advantage of such women by mistreating them because these men also seem to realise some women’s desperation to find and stay in a marriage. Below are some of the valued reactions from my readers.
Blanco Chibeka writes:
I wish to concur with you Doris and many other persons and groups concerned with GBV and indeed other gender-related problems the country is faced with. I however noted in the tone of your writing that you blamed women who do not report these matters to relevant authorities as being desperate for marriage. I do not agree with this position. I feel you are addressing a symptom rather than the problem itself.
Your article did not address itself, in my view, to the reasons why these women behave like that. GBV, like early marriages, is addressed by many who have an opportunity to do so from the top and not the bottom.
Many rural and peri-urban women, you will agree with me, depend on their men for their livelihood and that is a fact known by all of us. What then do you expect from such women?
Solving this problem is not by simply telling them to report these cases but by removing that which hinders them from doing so. Like early marriages, we need to resolve the problem of poverty, improve education system, empower these women as much as we can make them self-reliant and they will report these matters without anyone asking them. Blaming them is addressing symptoms and certainly not a way forward!
Martine writes:
I dated a woman for almost two years and she already started pushing me about marriage. My plan, though I did not mention to her, was to marry her but when she starting singing about marriage day and night, I slowly began to withdraw from the relationship. I did not know why she was panicking because I was not yet settled to be able to start a family. All these she did not understand. My point is that when such a desperate woman gets married, she will not care how her husband treats her. What would matter is that she is a married woman. This is why such women suffer in silence as men abuse them.
That is it for the week,
Until next week,
let’s keep in touch,

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