Columnists Features

“To love and to hold, till death do us part.”

SPEAK OUT ON VIOLENCe with DORIS KASOTE
“TO love and to hold, till death do us part.” These are just part of the vows exchanged between a man and woman as they stand before a priest, a pastor or a civil officer at a local authority.
This moment that brings joy not only to the two that are uniting in holy matrimony is witnessed by family and friends who also share in their joy.
It brings joy because the couple, from that day, starts a journey together in life that everyone hopes will be more joyous than sad moments.
Yes, ups and downs will be there but the good times should overshadow the downs that the couple may experience.
Where am I going with this? Well, it is sad to see and read about spouses turning against one another not only to quarrel bitterly but to even end up killing each other.
One would wonder what, in a relationship that was filled with happiness, which happiness extended to the family, went wrong to the extent of lifting an object to end the life of another.
If you love someone, seeing them hurt makes you feel their pain as well. Every difference can be resolved amicably; if all fails, it is better to walk out than end the life of a spouse.  The spouse with whom you stood before God, be it months or years ago, to love and to hold, and now where is that love?
Certainly, that vow does not include picking up an object to harm your spouse, even if you did not intend to kill, the mere fact that you acted to cause harm to the other means you had ill intentions to cause harm to your partner.
Yes, the courts are doing their best to have culprits found guilty of killing or causing harm to their spouses thrown behind bars.
Society should also take the lead in reporting cases of violence to law enforcement agencies because there are some cases that go unreported.
Usually, some members of the community speak out to state that a spouse was violent when one loses a life at the hands of their partner.  When these words are spoken it is usually too late to do anything as someone has already died.
A case in point is that of Bright Bwalya of Bwacha village in Luwingu who was recently handed a 10-year prison sentence with hard labour by the Ndola High Court for strangling his wife to death.
On March 10 last year around 21:00 hours, Bwalya and his wife returned home from drinking beer and picked a quarrel which led to a scuffle.
During the scuffle, Bwalya overpowered his wife who he held by the neck until she was unconscious.
But when Bwalya woke up around 05:00 hours the following day, he realised his wife was not in bed with him and rushed outside and found her where he had left her the previous night.
He tried to wake her up but she was non-responsive.  She was dead.  He killed her, a woman he promised to love and to cherish for the rest of his life.
It is a concern that, despite offenders being locked up, people continue to perpetuate violence.  Please let’s work together as a loving people to end this.
Meanwhile the write-up on “No single child deserves corporal punishment” continues to attract reactions.
Kapya Lewis of Chingola writes:
It is important for erring children to receive a cane to correct them for their wrongdoings. If you leave them alone, it won’t be well for them now and in future. In Bemba they say “ukutengela amafina mucilonda”, which simply means allowing a wound to rot for fear of some pain that come during a surgical operation until the whole part of the body affected is cut off.
There are some habits which should be dealt with seriously. I know of two continents in this world where, at some point in time, parents neglected their children in the name of human rights and they are paying the price because their children have no respect for them and no regard for elders.
It is the same people that want to bring these rotten ideas to Africa. The benefits of using a whip on erring children are far much beyond the simple pain they suffer each time they are rebuked with a cane.
A simple whip acts as remedy, let alone deterrent to erring children just as surgical operation is to someone with an abcess or cancer.
Of course no parent should scorch their children with hot paraffin; water or whatever to correct them but rather only minimum force should be used and usually followed by consolation.
Additionally, it is not every error that attracts a cane or whip.
Until next week
Let’s keep in touch:
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm


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