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Kuni’s TV Hustle

Torn Apart: BOYD PHIRI
WHEN one Zambian artiste did a song in Bemba dialect saying “chibelo chandetelela, he had one concern in mind – the problems some men experience for womanising.
In literal sense, chibelo means thigh in this case for the opposite sex, which the artiste speaks of scornfully for causing trouble in some men’s lives.
The story of chibelo in the song seems to depict a man’s regret for falling prey to the allure of indecent exposure by some women.
Yes, indecent exposure among women has always been a source of public outcry in the hood. But who says the exposure of a man’s thigh cannot cause public outcry?
If Kuni’s behaviour in a local reality TV show called Hustle on Zambezi Magic is anything to go by, he could be reciting the same lyrics “chibelo chandetelela”, which means “a thigh has gotten me into trouble”.
But while the character in the song is regretting for allowing someone’s thigh to get him in trouble, Kuni has his own thigh to blame.
Kuni, whose real name is Mukuni Godffrey Mulundika, made headlines recently when he appeared to flaunt his thigh while dressed in a night gown at a massage parlour with a couple of female co-stars on the show.
Of course, he was not giving a thigh challenge to the two women on the show, but although society has different standards of indecent exposure for men and women, Kuni’s thigh was mistaken for that of the opposite sex.
Don’t ask me to distinguish between the two thighs, but if a female colleague of mine at work can jokingly say “vibelo va Kuni vichila vathu,” meaning “Kuni’s thighs are more attractive than ours”, the man has a lot to explain.
Needless to say, Kuni has already indicated that he would give a statement to clear the air after authorities banned the television show Hustle for what they called promoting immorality.
I guess he is not going to say “It’s not what you think, I was just hanging around with the girls.”
Kuni should be worried because everyone in the hood is now asking: “Anali kuchita chiyani pakati pa bakazi?” meaning, “What was he doing in the midst of women?”
People in the hood would tell you that being among women means something and being with a woman means romance.
There is a common refrain from most parents who are steeped in tradition, saying boys should not play with girls because they would grow breasts.
Of course, this is not to say that they would also grow up to have thighs that would get them into trouble like Kuni’s, the thing is, parents believe society will have difficulties in applying the different standards of indecent exposure for men and women when matters come to a head like in Kuni’s case.
But that aside, if someone is going to look at whether exposing a man’s thigh amounts to indecent exposure, he would obviously prefer Kuni, who, according to the picture people saw in the media, is well endowed with upper parts of his legs and likes to mingle with women at massage parlours in the show.
I am not sure if the women mind his presence, but while I would have been nervous enough in front of a half-dressed woman at a massage parlour, the thought of wearing a night gown and flaunting my thighs as if throwing a thigh challenge to the women would somehow be more disturbing.
This is why the Minister of National Guidance and Religious Affairs Godfridah Sumaili recently said no Hustle, we will make sure that Kuni stops playing with women on the show.
So, whatever you do as a man, don’t let chibelo get you into trouble like what has happened to Kuni, although I would prefer we don’t judge him before he speaks out about the news coming out from Hustle.
bjboydphiri@yahoo.com

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