Gender Gender

Know one another before committing yourselves

SPEAK OUT ON VIOLENCE with DORIS KASOTE
SHE remembers it was a rainy day and she was stuck at the bus stop.  A man stopped to give her a ride home, and that was the beginning of their relationship.
This was not withstanding that she had just healed from an abusive relationship. She had given herself some time out but she was smitten by the Good Samaritan who had made it a habit to pick her up.
She was grateful for his gesture, but she continued to hold back until she could no longer.  She threw caution to the wind and gave the relationship a chance.  It all started well with the couple moving in together.
After a year in the relationship, she got the feeling that the man was not ready to commit.  At this point, she was expecting their first child.  When she asked about commitment, he claimed he needed a stable income to support the family.
Meanwhile, the baby was born and it brought so much joy to them. She was overjoyed with the coming of the baby. Two years down the line, she fell pregnant again.
After the two children, she observed a change in him. He started staying out late, and whenever she asked what had changed, he would brush her off. She began to reminisce and wonder if this was the same man who would drive through the rain to give her a ride to and from work.
From not spending time with her and the children, he became extremely controlling. He demanded that she quits work or he would walk out of the relationship.
Her career was just starting out and him demanding that she quits her job was non-negotiable.  This resulted into him being abusive both verbally and physically. She could not take it anymore and decided to separate from him. She got custody of the children. The children would visit their father on appointed days.
The man also moved on and married another woman. However, the struggle for custody began because the man felt he was now in a stable relationship as well as a stable income.
The mother to the children was not ready to give up without a fight. Besides being a control freak, the man would threaten her in front of the children. She feared for her life and reported him to the police. Even the children were not comfortable with their father.
To cut the long story short, the courts ordered that the children continue living with their mother.
When she looks back, she feels she jumped from the frying pan into the fire.  However, what she does not regret is having her two beautiful children.
Until next week.
Let’s keep in touch.

kasotedoris@gmail.com


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