Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
WHEN a couple has been together for a while, it is not difficult to notice a change in his or her patterns. In some instances, your partner may not even have the evidence that you are most likely being unfaithful in your marriage but for peace’s sake, chooses to ignore the tell-tale signs.
A man told a story of how he observed his wife change her pattern in behaviour but initially dismissed it that it was probably his imagination. He did acknowledge that his wife, like himself, had a demanding job, but she always found time to prepare a meal for the family and make up for the time lost.
He said the wife suddenly started spending more hours at work and would arrive home in a jovial mood. She began to wake up earlier than usual to pay particular attention to what outfit she would wear that day. According to what he said about his wife, she was one who dreaded going to the hair salon but things changed to her looking forward to what new hairstyle she would be wearing for the week.
He also observed that she was always chatting with someone on the phone and whenever he asked who she was chatting with, she would claim it was work-related. Little did she know that her body language gave her away.
Trying so hard not to think of the worst, he usually brushed thoughts of her being unfaithful aside, until he realised that she would usually give excuses about the two being intimate.
This he concluded that she was obviously getting the attention from someone else. One day, while she was taking a shower, his curiosity got the better of him and he got her phone and went through her messages. He found intimate messages between herself and her boss, who promised to also increase her pay before even being promoted. What was he to do?
His heart sank, he held the phone in his hand and waited for her to come out of the shower. His wife did not have to ask but saw the look on his face that the cat was out of the bag. He asked her why she had to do what she did and her response was that both of them were too busy with their careers and she met a man who was ready to give her attention.
He said he forgave her because of the love he has for his three children. However, he admits that the two live separate lives and she has continued with her boss, who now has the guts to even pick her at their gate.
Is marriage that valuable that people should continue hurting each other or they look at what properties they might lose if they went separate ways?
Do not get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing and a couple with differences should endeavour to make it work rather than continue with habits that do not build the marriage but destroy it further.
Until next week, let’s keep in touch.