SPEAK OUT ON VIOLENCE With DORIS KASOTE
WHETHER in a relationship or a marriage, one thing I believe is that you can never police your partner. Those who are in a habit of doing so lack the confidence with the lives revolving around their partners. Plain and simple, such people do not have a life.
I know of a man who polices his partner to a point where he even checks her fuel gauge from her office to home. He records the mileage on a weekly basis and when he observes that there is a week in a month whose mileage was more than the other weeks, he takes her to task.
From the outside world, this woman is happy, she lacks nothing, and she drives a posh car. As much as the husband provides all her needs, her complaint is that she feels like a prisoner in her own home.
When she arrives home before him, she has to wait for him to arrive before she can take a bath. When she does before he arrives, he suspects she was with another man.
He goes through her phone and questions any call received from a male colleague. She almost jumps out of her skin when her phone rings when she is with him. The minute she hangs up, he begins to interrogate her.
His insecurity has cost her several promotions because she cannot work late hours. The couple has had fights over her stopping work but on this one, she has stood her ground. She will not let up.
Whenever she complains to her family, they wonder why she complains about a man who provides her with everything. She has reached a point where she feels she has nowhere to run to. She has been turned away by people she hoped would hear her cry.
She has four children and three look like the father. For the one who was not favoured by the father because the man felt the boy was not his, it had to take a DNA test to confirm that the boy actually did belong to him.
Such levels of insecurity are not a sign of love. It actually ruins a relationship.
Until next week,
let’s keep in touch,
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm