Gender Gender

Husband, wife’s mutual effort equals great marriage

NEVER get into marriage expecting perfection from your spouse like you’re perfect yourself. Every rose flower has its own thorns and if you focus too much on your spouse’s weaknesses, you can’t get the best out of his/her strength. No one is an angel, so please avoid digging one’s past and building monuments of their wrongs. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things have passed away. Try to forgive and forget as the past can’t be changed. So focus on the present and the future.
Always know that marriage is not always a bed of roses like the way it is portrayed in fairy tales. Every shining marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fires and more trails may come in the future, but true love will withstand challenges. Fight for your marriage and please do this together with your partner. Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of need, and remember this is the vow you made when you said ‘I do’.
Don’t compare your marriage with other people’s marriages. We can never be equal or move at the same pace. Some will be right in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams will come true. Refuse to run with others as you have your own race to run .Work on your enemies of marriage which are prayerlessness, unforgiveness, adultery, third-party influence, stinginess, stubbornness, rudeness, bitterness and laziness. Be ready to fight together to keep your marriage going.
I love to tell people that there is nothing like an already made marriage. Marriages are made by hard work, you both have to volunteer to make it better daily. Marriage is like a car that needs good oil, care as you drive and good service. If these parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and exposing the occupants to unhealthy circumstances. Many of us are careless about our marriages and have refused to nurture our relationships. You need to pay deliberate attention to your marriage.
God never gives us a complete package. He gives you a man or woman in the form of raw materials in order for you to mould each other into what you desire. You need to communicate constantly and make compromises on what is important to make each other happy. With your love, prayer and encouragement and patience, your partner will become just what you want.
You cannot predict what will happen after getting married, as situations may change, so, leave room for adjustment. A child may not come immediately. You may get married to her because she’s slim but she becomes fat after having a child. A husband may lose his well-paying job and remains unemployed for years, while you shoulder the financial burdens of the family. But remember that with God by your side, you will smile at last.
Now listen – the reason I keep saying marriage is not for boys and girls, but men and women, is that you can’t be one foot in marriage and another outside. Marriage needs total commitment; love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce. Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married because God hates divorce.
Think of your marriage as a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdraw. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you can’t have a blissful marriage. There is no free love in marriage. You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.
May God help you build that great marriage.
For questions and contributions, email Emmanuel Mukula on or follow him on facebook ‘Emmanuel Mukula – Life Coach’.

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