Couples Gender

How to keep your marriage alive

GETTING married is easy but staying married has its own challenges. The vows that a couple make on their wedding day is put to the test when ups and downs in marriage occur.

There is no formula to how best to tackle differences as the approach varies from couple to couple.
I want to share what I have learned from my own experience as well as my interactions during workshops and my counselling sessions.  It is my prayer that it will be helpful to someone.
As time goes by, spouses become complacent to a point where even exchange of gifts becomes a thing of the past.  Even a simple bouquet of roses is only available during funerals as a couple lays a wreath to bid farewell to a loved one.
Those sweet-little-nothings need not die out just because a couple has been together for years, the fire has to be kept alive.
Re-living the moments of what it took to win your partner brings excitement back into a marriage. Make time for each other and cherish the moments. The moments may include talk on religion, politics, aspirations and finances.
Even mere shopping together, seeing a movie and spending time with the children can cement a relationship.  Taking regular vacations and reserving a night every week to go out on a date.
The more compatible you are, the better for the growth and strength of your relationship. It is certainly bad for a couple to be married and not have time for each other.
One of the common problems in a marriage are finances.  In counselling couples, I have learnt that the problem usually comes up as each does not want to account for their finances.
It is also important to communicate whether or not you agree with your partner on a particular matter.  Communication is key to a successful marriage.
Whenever you are unhappy about something, it is better to let it out than suppress those hurtful feelings.  Suppressing your feelings is a danger to any relationship.
When approaching a difference, do so calmly and talk about it. Please, never resort to insults as it only ridicules the many years spent together ending into a breakdown of the marriage.
Lastly, always remember to make God the centre of your marriage.  In whatever circumstances, good or bad, look to the Almighty God.
For questions and contributions or follow me on facebook ‘Emmanuel Mukula – life coach’.


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