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How do you end an affair with married man?

GODLY COUNSEL with PASTOR KATAI
Dear pastor,
There’s considerably less information available on how to move forward from an affair if you’re the other man or woman. How do you convince yourself it’s over and what do you tell the married person you’ve been seeing?

ANS: Dear sister, thanks for your mail. Deciding to back out of an affair is the wisest thing for anybody to do. It is like the prodigal son who having squandered his wealth in luxurious living came back to his senses, (Luke 15).  He went back to ask for forgiveness from his father and he was accepted home.
When it comes to affairs, the same step has to be taken to make amends. I will suggest the following steps which could be of help in an event that you find yourself on the wrong side of life. When your partner tells you they intend to leave their marriage, you want to believe them; it’s easy to fall for false promises or half-truths when you’re deeply invested in a relationship.
Avoiding reality only hurts you and the future you deserve with someone who can fully love you. Facing reality and your understandable disappointment is the first step in making yourself available for true love.
You deserve to be in a mutual relationship, where you can get your needs met without shame. Break it off in person, not through text. Ghosting may not be the right way to end any relationship, let alone one as anxious and complicated as an affair. To avoid messy emotional entanglements later on and gain some closure, end the relationship in person.
You owe it to yourself to say goodbye to what drew you to this person and what will never be. It needs to end properly so that the relationship you truly desire can come into your life. Do not use vague terms when ending it.
You can be compassionate and considerate, but do not backpedal; give no mixed messages of hope. Say goodbye and that you cannot see them anymore period and no exceptions. You’ve got to close the open emotional door between you and cut off all contact.
Further, resist any attempts on his part to get back in touch. Once you’ve ended it explicitly, don’t allow your ex to re-enter your life. He may still call you and try to see you in person so they can convince you to stay. Fight the urge to see him again. Then, remember that ultimately, you are breaking free from an unhealthy relationship. Blessings!
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‘Let the man open up’
Dear pastor,
I am a regular reader of your column. First, thank you for the job well done by helping people mostly our generation. However, I wish to appeal to you that you allow the man whose matter appeared in last Sunday, May 28, 2017 edition captioned “I was mistreated by fiancée”.
This man should be honest and tell the truth of what transpired. Naturally, women are born to appreciate men no matter how small a gift is. Chris, Kitwe.
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Thanks Pastor
Dear pastor,
How are you? I appreciate the wonderful work you are doing for us. Thank you and God bless you and your family. Peter

ANS: Brother, I am fine thank you. I’m really humbled to hear from you with words of encouragement. I too appreciate your support in keeping this column live. Blessings!
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Dear pastor,
I wish to thank you for the work you are doing. I am Matthews aka TC, want to share this verse with everyone. Psalm 101:3 which says, “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me”.
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Love lines:
Dear pastor,
I am lady aged 34 looking for a man to marry, God-fearing who has 2/3 children, with job. I am positive. Contact 0977-881340.
Dear pastor,
I am a man aged 27 looking for a serious girl aged 18-22 within Lusaka. 0953-262494.
Dear pastor
I am a woman aged 38 with 3 children looking serious men aged 40-47. 0967-493836.
Dear pastor,
I am lady aged 28 looking for a serious single man. 0969-262922.
Dear pastor,
I am a man looking for lady to date. Call 0955-883521.
Dear pastor,
I am lady aged 31 looking for a serious man who is also positive. Contact 0950-929931.
Dear pastor,
I am man aged 34 looking for a single lady aged 26-32 to marry dark or light in complexion, police officer, teacher or in civil service. Contact 0953-426884.
Dear pastor,
I am a lady aged 23 without-child looking for a man aged 25-30 with at least 1 child or none, God-fearing, humble, honest and good communicator. Contact 0977-717697or 0965-783234.
Dear pastor,
I am a man aged 27 looking for a lady to marry aged 19-26 without a child, Kitwe, Ndola, Kasama, Chingola, Kapiri. Call 0962-360038.
Tip of the week
Marriage: Remind yourself that you’re worthy of someone’s full attention. Blessings!
More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Meanwhile, let’s continue interacting via email pkatai@yahoo.com or thabokatai@gmail.com or sms 0967/0955-778068. Emailing is encouraged for quick response.

 

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