Couples Editor's Choice Life and Style

Should I go and see her parents?

Dear Pastor.
I need your help. I am seeing a woman who I intend to marry. She has a child and I have one. We have known each other for two years now and we are both working. She wants me to meet her parents by March and pay something towards bride price; she is also suggesting she holds her Kitchen party in October. She told me she has pressure from men proposing her. I am imagining how to raise the money by March. We had a quarrel of which I was annoyed and I told her to end the relationship and she agreed. Following day she told me to call her and see her. I apologised but she told me to move on because I don’t care about her daughter. It took her friend’s husband to talk to her that is how we resolved the issue. Should I go ahead and see her parents?
ANS: Unfortunately, I am of the thought that your girlfriend is more interested in public opinion than on building a home.
Marriage is between two people, and if she is not yet aware of your financial standing and your concern about the events, then I doubt she will be very understanding even in future.
It is also unreasonable for a third person to reconcile the two of you, is that a type of future you are looking forward to? Marriage should be a joyous thing bringing two people together. It should not be done with blackmail or pressure.
I suggest you follow her advice and let her go. Eventually you will find a way to marry a person who is comfortable with what you have to offer. Blessings!
What can I do to win him back?
Dear Pastor,
I have been reading your Godly counsel. I am a woman aged 20 and I need your help. I love a God fearing man who has been encouraging me to read the Bible and pray. But the other day he told me God had commanded him to end the relationship with me. I have been asking God to bring him back into my life. Last week he told me he no longer loves me the way he used to love me at first. I love him and I don’t want to lose him. What can I do now to win him back?
ANS: My sister, I encourage you to continue believing in God and His grace. There are times when we encounter heart-breaking situations and we get desperate to try and fix things.
The young man says he is prayerful and that is the reason he has ended the relationship, have faith that there may be an even better man out there just waiting to make you his bride.
It is important to respect yourself and respect the word of the young man.
Focus on educating yourself and developing the characters of an upright woman, eventually, you will attract a God-fearing man who will be ready to give you the love you deserve. Blessings!
How can I tell my fiancé about marriage?
Dear Pastor,
I just hope you have a blessed day. I have stayed with this woman for seven years in a relationship now. She lives in Ndola, but she usually comes to Lusaka. I do the same and we do communicate. How can I tell her when it  comes to marriage because I am a Lusaka resident.
ANS: Brother thanks for your text. I am blessed thanks. It is a good thing to find a wife, he who does find favour from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22). I am happy to learn that you have been communicating and visiting each other. That is the right spirit to foster until you tie the knot.
Well concerning distance between the two of you should not be a barrier either. When you are ready for marriage, you can let her know about it, so that you can organise the go-between team who can go and represent you in Ndola. Friend, I too married from Ndola but our wedding took place in Lusaka because as a man I was the one organising the event. My wife and her parents from Ndola joined us on the wedding day in Lusaka and we had a colourful event. So in the same way you too can do it without fail. What is important is love (Song of Solomon 8:6-7), Love breaks any boundaries be it geographical or otherwise. Blessings!
Loves lines:
Dear Pastor,
I am woman aged 29, with two children looking for a God fearing man to marry with children as well. Call 0971-873243.
Dear Pastor,
I am a woman aged 32, looking for a serious man who is a Christian, humble and caring. H should be aged 38-40, I am Namwanga by tribe. Text: 0950-338853.
Dear Pastor,
I am a young man aged 19 looking for a young lady to date aged 17-19, must be schooling or completed school, serious, loving and caring. 0966-266703.
Dear Pastor,
I am male aged 21 looking for a loving partner aged 20 and above, within Zambia. Contact 0963-299081.
Dear Pastor,
I am man aged 38 looking for a woman aged 35-40 to go into courtship with. Contact 0978-663754.
Dear Pastor,
I am a man looking for woman to marry aged 25-35, traditional and God fearing. Text 0961-184152.
Dear Pastor,
I am a widower aged 49 need of a God fearing wife; Lusakan light complexion aged 35-40, educated, formal job or business. Serious only to text/call 0972-832503.
Tip of the week
Marriage: Love is a vital ingredient in the flourishing of any relationship. It conquers any kind of enmity, it breaks tribal, racial and geographical barriers (Song of Solomon 8:6-7). Love is greater than possessions and wealth. Seek it, give it and embrace it. Blessings!
Season’s greetings. Special thanks to all of you folks who made my year a successful one, year to remember. Bye for now until next year 2016. Blessings!
More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Meanwhile let’s continue interacting via email or or sms 0967/0955-778068. Emailing is encouraged for quick response.

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