Couples Life and Style

‘My girl could have HIV’

HIV result.

GODLY COUNSEL with EVANGELIST KATAI
DEAR  Pastor,
I am a man aged 21 and dating a 19-year-old girl. I love her so much but my worry is that her former-boyfriend has been sending texts to me that he and my girl are both HIV positive. What I shall I do?
ANS: Wow! Let your lady know about the texts and see if you can get tested together before marriage! Her former-boyfriend may try to hit back in an effort to discourage you from your current relationship. HIV is no longer a death sentence but learn to live on Biblical principles to have a longer life. (Proverb 10:22). No sex before marriage please. Blessings!
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Is marriage without sex normal?
Dear Pastor
I am a lady who has been married for four years. I just wanted to ask if it is normal for married people to stay four months without having sex. He is found with used condoms, shouts and disrespects me in front of people. If we quarrel, he reports every thing to his mum. He does not eat my food. His actions tell me he’s done with me, please advise me because I am tired.
ANS: Thank you for your text. Well, it is not normal, right or Biblical for a couple to stay in a home for a long time without sex. Sex is the fuel or lubricant in marriage, for without it all things come to a stand still. (I Corinthians 7:1-5). The man appears to have gone wayward. He can’t eat your food nor can he respect you. Don’t rush to call it quit. I think you need to go back to the drawing board. Get back to the elders who presided over your marriage and let them sit him down and talk about such issues seriously. You can also involve your church to help you fight this battle. Blessings!

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After sex, he keeps away
Dear Pastor,
I am a girl aged 19 dating a man aged 24 for eight months. The problem is that from the time I slept with him, he stopped caring about me even calling or texting. I haven’t seen him for the past two months and each time I ask him, he says he is busy. I am heart broken please help me.
ANS: Thanks sis for your text. I pity you for the turn of events. It’s common and normal for men to behave that way. After obtaining what they are looking for from a woman, they tend to relax and in some instances tend to lose interest or just suddenly get busy. This is why it is not right for you as a young lady to give in whenever a man asks for sex. As a believer, you need to take a strong stance against sex before marriage. See where you are now! It is true you can be heart-broken after giving someone what he really wanted and decides to desert you. However, do not allow yourself to be depressed perpetually. Pick up bits and pieces and start your journey all over again. If you can forget about this man, the better and quicker you will heal. Blessings!
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‘She does not say ‘thank you’
Morning pastor
I am a man aged 26 dating an 18-year-old girl with good reputation at home and with quiet personalities. Now within our one year plus dating period whether at home or school, she rarely says ‘thank you’ for the things I do for her. If I send airtime to her she remains quiet and in rare cases uses the same talk time to chat with me. She has introduced me to her parents and other relatives but the ‘thanks’ issue worries me very much. Could it be associated with her quiet personality, upbringing or she has someone else?
ANS: Thanks brother for your text. May I hasten to dismiss the belief that she is seeing someone else. It is just normal for any personal no matter their background or personality to say thank you whenever someone does or says something good about them. I don’t think we need to go to school to learn that. As we grow up as toddlers, parents tell us to say thank you for any favour shown to us or for any present given to us. Brother, don’t allow this trivial matter to stifle your wonderful relationship with your fiancée. It is just a matter of reminding your beloved one about how important saying ‘thank you’ is to you or talk to someone close to her to inculcate some sense in her. Blessings!
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‘I am not ready to be a stepmother’
Dear Pastor,
First I would like to thank you for what you are doing. God bless you. I am a lady aged 21 who is in love with a man aged 27. We really love each other and are planning to get married in four years time. He has a child and the problem is I don’t know if I am ready to be a stepmother, especially that my mother suffered so much as stepmother. Will my family accept him as their son in-law? Somehow history has repeated itself and I don’t want to go through what my mother did. The child might bring about misunderstandings between us, please advise.
ANS: God bless you too, thanks. For any marriage to succeed first of all, you need to agree to accept your partner the way and who he is and vice versa. Further, if there any extra luggage one is coming with into the new relationship, it has to be agreed upon. But if one feels cannot accept extra baggage, it is better and advisable not to step into the waters otherwise the storm may be unbearable. You can’t love the father and hate the child. It is either you love both or leave them. If you want to know whether your partner can be accepted by your family, take a step of faith and introduce him to your family and tell them the whole truth about him and the child. Do this before you get deeper in your relationship. I am optimistic you can do things different from your mother. (Judges 11:1-3) Blessings!
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Dear pastor
I am an HIV+ single man aged 35,  independent seeking for a matured HIV+ lady aged 22-26 who is ready for marriage based in Copperbelt, Central, Northern Province. Serious HIV+ ladies to sms 0962-603719.
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Dear Pastor
How are you? I am a man aged 21 looking for a serious lady to be in relationship with, aged 18-30. Call 0967-848500.
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Dear Pastor
Greetings man of God. I am a single lady aged 23 looking for a serious single man aged 26-40. Only serious men to call me on 0966-273210.
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Dear Pastor,
I am a single lady aged 23, please link me to any single man aged 28-35. 0962-087843.

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Tip of the week
Marriage:  Forgiveness isn’t a “once and done” event, but rather an ongoing choice. As new offenses come up and memories resurface, continue to choose forgiveness.
More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Meanwhile let’s continue interacting via email pkatai@yahoo.com or thabokatai@gmail.com or sms 0967/0955-778068.

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