Couples Life and Style

I have no feelings for my husband

Dear Pastor
I am from reading your column which appeared in the publication dated March 15, 2015 and I thought you are the only one who can help me.
I have been married for 10 years with two children. I have no feelings for my husband and have been hoping that something will change, but no avail. What can I do to revive my marriage?
ANS: What I hear you saying is that while you love your husband, and have a generally positive relationship, you feel as if there is something missing in the relationship.
Try being open to each other by also reminding each other the good times you have shared together. Going forward, look at how you can continue sharing their good times together. You both need to work together to share a better relationship.
Communication is important for any relationship. Couples need to work together to keep their relationship alive.
He might be hurt to learn that you are not satisfied with your relationship, but he also may be relieved to finally be talking about it. If you are hesitant to open up, you can work with a couples’ counsellor to help. If the two of you are open with each other, the chances of retaining the positive spirit of your relationship are significantly greater. Blessings!
I fell in love with a man who divorced his wife
Good day pastor
I am a single woman and have never been married. I fell in love with a man who divorced his wife. The two have been separated for two years but the reason is not cheating but witchcraft. Will it be a sin if I am to get married to this man? Regards
ANS: Well, my sister I find it unbiblical to date a man you knew very well was married and now has separated with his wife. Do you think it is normal for a marriage within two years of its existence to collapse? I do not think so! What you are saying in your heart is that these two did not separate on grounds of adultery but witchcraft – any proof? Allegations of witchcraft could not be used as the basis to dissolve a marriage.
The Bible advises clearly that “whoever divorces his wife and marries commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11-12) These words came direct from the mouth of Jesus Christ. From this scripture I am of a view that you will do well to back out of this relationship. If this man can use any reason to divorce his wife, I don’t think he will ever have fruitful marriages. And I foresee similar failures in future even when he decides to take you on as his new wife. It is, therefore, better you discontinue your affair with this man and find another man. Blessings!
I fail to co-exist with people
Dear Pastor
I am a woman aged 20 and the ‘black sheep’ of the family who is known to be lazy with a bad attitude. While some family relatives are threatening ‘kuni ngenesa munyumba’ others are planning on taking me for exorcism. I am not as bad as they think I am. I try my best but I am not as good as my twin sister. The relative I live with is fed up with me. My late mother’s relatives disowned me, my stepmother fears having to once again live under the same roof with me and my father feels sorry for me. Since I fail to co-exist with people, maybe I should not even exist at all. From Depressed.
ANS: Dear Depressed,
You deserve to live and exist in that family. Difficult people do exist everywhere even in families. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, your behaviour and courage to express yourself.
Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person is just generally obnoxious or when the behaviour affects more than one person. Dealing with them is much tougher when they are attacking you or undermining your contribution to the family.
What you ought to do right now is to pause for a moment, think and reflect about all their concerns about you. What is it that they’re saying and you are not doing or what is it that they do not want you to do but you give it a deaf ear? I don’t think you’re that bad that you cannot listen to anyone’s advice.
Each and every one of us has a talent, and I would urge you to find out what yours is. It appears that you have a lot of time on your hands, you can visit your church and volunteer yourself for various activities, and maybe you will be a fantastic Sunday school teacher or provide support to a tailoring shop or hair salon.
Your unique nature has a place in this world. You deserve to live and be useful to society. Blessings!
Date people who will impact you
Dear Pastor
May I share with readers my experience with my ex-boyfriend. I dated him for about four months. The relationship couldn’t work out but monumental benefited in that this man was magnanimous talking about poverty alleviation and education, importance. He made an impact in my life. Date people who impact you. Lubi, Lusaka.
Dear Pastor
Greetings, I am a woman aged 33 with four children looking for a serious man aged 38-40 to marry widower with children. Interested call 0961-826514.
Dear Pastor
I am lady aged 29 looking for a serious man aged 37-45. Text me on 0953-648140.
Dear Pastor
I am man aged 32 looking for a serious lady aged 22-30. Interested ladies call 0978-235367.
Dear Pastor
I am a lady aged 22 looking for a serious man who loves and fears God. Interested call 0962-001071.
Dear Pastor
I am a man aged 29 looking for a God-fearing woman to marry between 20-25 a civil servant. Call 0953-911215, 0965-502233.
Tip of the Week
Marriage: Set aside some time today to evaluate whether you are clinging to certain unhealthy expectations for your marriage. Let go of those expectations and embrace God’s will for you and your spouse, relying on God no matter what may come!
Comments and queries text 0955/0967-778068 or email or

Send Your Letters

Facebook Feed