Gender Gender

An experience from the community

SPEAK OUT ON VIOLENCE DORIS KASOTE
WHENEVER I am doing my hair at my regular hairdresser, I find it interesting sometimes to hear stories that women in the salon discuss as they go about their duties.
The stories are usually based on the events that take place in their various communities. Some I find a bit exaggerated though mine is to simply sit there and have my hair done.
As they tell most of these stories they are usually giggling. The stories range from fights within their respective communities to children getting lost.
One particular day, I witnessed some of the fights that the hairdressers talk about. This was because I had to follow my favourite hairdresser to her house as she was off-duty.
As I sat there, I saw a pregnant woman and a man dragging each other. The man was warning the woman to return home or she would meet his wrath.
The woman insisted that she would follow him wherever he went while she hurled insults at him. As they exchanged bitter words, I gathered that the man was going to his girlfriend’s house who was also pregnant.
As the man pushed and slapped his wife, who was not ready to give in and return home, a crowd began gathering around them.
This was before mid-day, on a Sunday. The woman complained how he was never home and preferred to spend time with his girlfriend.
Some people in the crowd began cheering as they watched this fracas. It was only one person in the crowd who stood out to advise the husband that if he continued hitting his wife, he could probably end up killing her, especially that she was pregnant.
The man was dragged away but still chose not to go with his wife. The woman also walked the opposite direction amid sobs, complaining to whoever cared to listen.
What I gathered from my hairdresser was that the young couple lived with the man’s parents, and this same man had also made another woman pregnant.
I thought how devastated the wife felt. From the husband’s behaviour, he didn’t seem to care about her feelings; his goal was to get to the other woman.
What also surprised me was his determination to even turn violent on his pregnant wife just to get to where he was going despite how the wife felt.
Cheers from the crowd as the man roughed up his pregnant wife were annoying, to say the least. A pregnant woman is fragile and should be treated with care. Even if she was not pregnant, a real man should just treat his wife with respect.
It took a man in the crowd to tell him that his behaviour would land him in jail.
At least he came to his senses and walked away. I imagined what kind of marriage the two shared because both were abusive towards each other.
Some insults that the woman hurled at her husband gave me goose pimples; at the same time the roughness from the husband did not make me feel any different.
This was a case of each abusing the other, one verbally while the other physically.
Sad state of affairs this marriage seemed.
And here is a comment from one of the readers on last week’s story of a woman who was used and abused by her husband.
Good day Madam Doris,
That was a wonderful, sad story indeed. It’s a pity that women will break their fellow women’s homes without even feeling remorseful.
Can’t we make a law to punish home-breakers, because things are getting out of hand?
P.T
Luanshya
Until next week, Let’s keep in touch: dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm


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