Gender Gender

Embrace stepchildren like your own

Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
WHILE listening to the news a few weeks ago, I heard a story of a step mother who dipped a nine-year-old’s hand in boiling water for eating part of that day’s relish.
I got goose pimples because I could not imagine the pain the toddler had been subjected to.

As if that was not enough, the woman kept the child under lock and key for two days as he continued to experience intense pain because of the burns.
On the third day, the child found an opportunity to escape from the ‘wicked’ step mother’s trap and sought help from the neighbours. He was then rushed to the hospital.
Such stories are not new, often times than not, we hear or read about a stepparent being cruel to a child.
In some cases, you find that the stepparent knew about her spouse having a child before wedding and promised to take care of the stepchildren as good as their own.
So, why should innocent children suffer for being found in such situations?
I have come to realise that this is one of the reasons some couples continue to live together for the sake of their children. They cannot imagine another person looking after their children, lest the children are mistreated.
When you meet a man or woman with children, be ready to carry that ‘baggage’ along with the person you want to settle down with.
It is disappointing that some will not even reveal to their partners that they have children all in the name of getting married. When it is established that there are children out there, then hell breaks loose.
I have heard some people who are widowed say they will not remarry until such a time when their children are independent.
A man I know has been categorical that he will only consider doing so once his children are grown up and independent.
His reasoning is that he does not want to be put in a corner to a point of being expected to choose between his children or their stepmother.
He says women, sometimes pretend to be what they are not, especially when they are seeking marriage.
He says no one will look after his children as well as his late wife did. At the same time, he does admit missing companionship but he has decided to put the interests of his children first.
I always say children are a gift from God. There are some people who will go to extremes to have children but some choose to mistreat them.
Until next week, let’s keep in touch.
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

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