Gender Gender

Don’t use childern to fight battles

Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
IT MAY not be strange to hear that some couples live under the same roof but share different lives. What they once had in common is no more but because of, probably, the willingness to share property after a divorce make some couples compromise on their way of life. This usually means no intimacy.

Such arrangements have negative effects on the children who wonder why mum and dad do not share the same room as is expected.

I know of a couple that have been married for years, yet they live separate lives with each having open extramarital affairs.
These two have thrown caution to the wind and have showed little concern about the feelings of their children and set shown as priority.
Their three children have grown up looking at marriage from a different perspective and openly admit that their family is a dysfunctional one.
One of them recalls that when the parents started having problems, either the mother or the father would expect the children to side with one of them. On this one, the children stood their ground and said they were not going to side with either because both were their parents whom they deeply loved, regardless.
He said it was hard growing up in such a home because whatever differences the two parents had, they ignored how it was affecting the children.
Both the mother and the father were in a habit of demeaning the other in front of the children, as though to prove a point to the children.
The long and short story to this is that after the children were independent, the parents remained alone but continued living separate lives.
One morning, the wife did not wake up and the husband went about his house chores, thinking the wife had decided to lie in. When it was almost dusk, he went to knock on her door but she did not respond. He asked the gardener to break down the door only to find she was stone-cold. She had died in her sleep but because the two no longer shared an intimate relationship, how was he to know?
Meanwhile, concerning last week’s write up (October 25) I received feedback from one of the readers and it reads,
Hi Doris
I have enjoyed your article today “Not All that Glitters is Gold.” Keep it up. Cannot wait to read the follow-up.
Best regards,
Chishimba,
Lusaka.
Until next week,
Let’s keep in touch,
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

 

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