Gender Gender

Do charms solve marital problems?

Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
IT’S a wonder how some people believe in charms to gain favour in all spheres of their lives. This ranges from keeping charms in offices to, unfortunately, even in their marriages where spouses, especially men, are fed with all sorts of herbs. This is done in the hope that the man would have no say in a marriage, but, like a zombie, go with whatever the wife would say.

However, this never works as I have known people who are die-hard charm users but going through unhappy marriages. Besides them going from one witch doctor to the next, their problems only seem to get deeper.
Some of these women are so dependent on charms to move mountains, yet they have so much disrespect for their husbands and verbally abuse them. And as expected, some men retaliate by getting physical with their wives.
When one seriously reflects on some of these differences, they will realise that charms are not necessary for one to have problems ironed out in a home. The secret lies in the couple enjoying a conducive relationship for them to get along.
What many women do not realise is that sometimes, they cause problems in their own homes by simply disrespecting their husbands and blowing small differences out of proportion by going all out to ‘undress’ the men through telling the whole world about the husband’s perceived weakness.
After the man rebels from such action by behaving in an unwanted manner, the women will then secretly go out to search for the latest charm on the market to ‘tame’ her husband.
Such women will never realise that they caused the problem in the first place or that they need to apologise for their disrespect. These are the kind of women who prefer to believe that they are never at fault.
This is an issue needing serious reflection, but funny enough, I doubt whether some people have a conscience. It is never their fault but the problem is their husband.
This issue of believing in charms earned a woman her dismissal. Her employer, who is a friend of mine, got tired of advising her against the use of charms. My friend’s concern was also the fact that the maid spent the whole day with the children while the couple was at work.
The maid would complain to my friend how badly she was being mistreated by the husband. This maid had a tendency of insulting the husband over the phone.
According to my friend, she said she got tired of advising her on how not to treat her spouse. Does it really have to take insults to make a man change for the better?
For lack of a better word, but I think it is utterly being irrational to hear some brag about how much they talk down at their husbands.
Some of these actions drive away men and then you should think charms will solve your problems? Let’s not always play the blame game, but it is also important to check ourselves as women.
Until next week, let’s keep in touch.
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

 

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