Gender Gender

Divorce only option

Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
LEFT with no option, she filed for divorce because of her husband’s infidelity. She hoped he would change once in marriage but his habits became worse than the time they were in courtship.
She would hear stories about his other women while they dated but marriage counsellors advised that some men change for the better once married, especially as they grow older.
She waited for that moment that he would become a better husband and father, but that moment never came.
He was always claiming to be busy working and kept late nights. The only time he would see his children was in the morning when he was driving them to school. To the children, this was a moment they looked forward to. Even the school runs did not help him build a relationship with the children.
The situation was worse during holidays because the children would be in bed when he returned and he would be off to work the next day before they woke up. The children rarely saw their father during holidays.
It became a norm that the woman would hear of one girlfriend from another. The mistake she made was that instead of dealing with her husband, she would always pursue these women, warning them to stay away from her husband.
She stopped living her life and focused on knowing which woman her husband was seeing. An elderly woman once sat her down, reminding her that she should not reduce herself to pursuing her husband’s girlfriends because being a wife was not at the same level as his girlfriends.
She decided to take the route she was advised of dealing with her husband but even it did not help. He continued his lifestyle of having extra marital affairs, regardless of whether his wife knew or not. Sometimes, he would even justify his actions that he was compelled to behave in such a manner because he did not find peace at home.
The woman nearing her end in trying to make the marriage work called in reinforcement to pump some sense into the man. The family sat the couple down to find the root cause of the problem. The man behaved for a few weeks before he was back to his normal routine.
She finally gave up on her 16-year marriage and filed for divorce. It was not easy to pick up the pieces but she managed to do so and moved on. She also won custody of the children and is now living a stress-free life and re-marrying is the last thing on her mind.
Until next week, let’s keep in touch.
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

Send Your Letters

Facebook Feed

Ad1