Gender Gender

Darkest hour is before dawn…

Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
THE darkest hour is just before the dawn, meaning there is hope even in the worst of circumstances.
However, one who finds oneself in such circumstances finds it difficult to even have any hope.
I know of a woman whose husband did not have a job for years such that their marriage became shaky.
All the responsibilities were falling on the woman: rentals, school fees, medical bills, the list is endless.
She supported her husband despite the hardships. This was from her little salary.
She could no longer push herself and decided enough was enough. She could not do this anymore.
She had never known what being taken care of by a husband meant. As far as she was concerned, she was the head of the house.
She would debate within herself whether to go on or to give up on the marriage.
All she wanted was a working husband. Every interview he went to did not yield anything positive.
The hope she had in him began to dwindle such that she lost respect for him.
Even the children observed that their mother was the breadwinner.
Their respect for their father also began to reduce.
Seeing that formal employment was not working out for him, the wife decided to get a loan to help him start up a business but even that business collapsed.
Her hope was that even when the loan was being deducted, they would be cushioned from the profits from the business.
Not even the saying that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade worked for this woman. She moved out with the children. She filed for a divorce. Two months down the line, the man finally hit it big, he found himself a well-paying job. But how was she to go back, especially that the man suffered ridicule even from his in-laws?
She tried to convince him that the two reconcile saying she had done a lot for him. He reminded her that he was not the one who asked for a divorce but she did.
With regret on her face, she says he supports the children but he has refused to reconcile with her. He told her that marriage is supposed to be for better, for worse. And that is how she lost her marriage because of lack of patience. She did admit that she abused her husband and together with her family nicknamed him house husband.
Until next week.
Let’s keep in touch, dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

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