Gender Gender

She chose child abuse to keep marriage

SPEAK OUT ON GENDER VIOLENCE with DORIS KASOTE
HER self-esteem was anchored on being a wife and having children.  Her hope was that her boyfriend would marry her and bear him children.
The woman, who I shall call Lillian, for convenience already had two children from her previous relationship, was hell bent on falling pregnant.
By having a child with her current boyfriend, she hoped to cement her relationship and eventually get married.
Her dream was to see the man become her husband especially that he was very good with her children.  The man, however, did not have any children of his on.
Lillian moved in with her boyfriend together with her children and they lived as a happy family.
Her dream finally became a reality when she conceived and learnt that she was actually carrying twins.  The couple were overwhelmed with happiness and looked forward to the day they would set eyes on the two little ones.
Time finally came when Lillian gave birth to her two beautiful children.  Her boyfriend was overjoyed.  This made Lillian confident that sooner or later, her boyfriend would ask for her hand in marriage.
From the traits that her boyfriend exhibited towards her two other children, Lillian had no doubt that her boyfriend would continue being a loving father to both the twins and her other children.
Time was ticking and the question she longed so much for was not forthcoming.  The children were over a year old and there were no signs of the couple tying the knot.
Worse still, his attitude changed towards Lillian’s children who he did not even want to hung around him saying they were a nuisance.  For the sake of preserving her relationship, Lillian, chose her boyfriend over her two children and also took part in abusing her two other children, in the hope of pleasing the man.
She evidently showed more affection to the twins, while sidelining her other two children.
The couple would go shopping and eat out with the twins and leave the other children at home.
The other children were miserable. They had lost their love from a mother who opted to choose a man over them.
Even when Lillian found her boyfriend beating the children, she would not stand up for them.
The community felt for the children and tried to talk to Lillian but to no avail.
There was a time when one of the children fell ill, Lillian and her boyfriend did not take the child to hospital saying he was just pretending.
What followed next is that the child was bed ridden and it took a neighbour to take the child to the hospital.
Unfortunately, the child died two days later.
Medical personnel also found marks on the child’s body indicating that he was brutally beaten by either the mother or the mother’s boyfriend.
To cut the long story short, Lillian is still single. She now has to fend for her three children on a rather modest income.  In other words, she is barely surviving.  She regrets choosing a man over her own children.  Sad that a child lost a life, all in the hope of Lillian thinking she would be a wife but all in vain.
Children are a blessing and they should not be used as a bet, to try and win someone’s love.
A man or woman who truly loves you will also be prepared to take along whatever comes along with you.
Until next week:
Let’s keep in touch:
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm


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