Gender Gender

Be friends in marriage

Speak Out on Violence: DORIS KASOTE
ONE of the sermons I attended at church, the preacher strongly spoke against gender-based violence. He said some women end up not respecting their husbands but fearing them. He talked about the importance of a couple being friends and looking out for each other.

He said marriages usually start on a good note but years down the line, the couple begins to drift apart. Some women are glad when their spouses are away from them and frown the minute he walks through the door.

What the preacher was emphasising got me thinking that the problem is that sometimes a couple takes each other for granted. To have a good thing, always expect to nurture it. To maintain a good relationship, both parties have to work towards that.
After being together for a while, a couple forgets even the little things of greeting their partner with a kiss and a smile when they walk through the door. It is also important to thank your partner for something small they may have done.
Although love is the foundation of any romantic relationship, love is not enough. In order to have a health relationship, both parties have to be willing to work on it.
In his book, “How to be an adult in relationships: The five keys to mindful loving’’, David Richo explains that two of the keys to mindful loving are acceptance and appreciation.
It is also important to recognise that all relationships have their ups and downs. Just as you can’t expect to be happy all the time, you shouldn’t expect your relationship to be at a continuous high. When you make a long-term commitment to someone you have to be willing to ride the highs, as well as the lows, together.
There is no one individual that is perfect so it helps a relationship if a couple focuses on each other’s strengths, and see how best weaknesses can be addressed.
Learn to appreciate your partner’s strengths, that way you will have a happy relationship.
Until next week,
Let’s keep in touch,
dkasote@daily-mail.co.zm

 

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