Love & Life Issues with EMMANUEL MUKULA
IN COUNSELLING people, I have observed that each marital problem presented to me only explains how important the foundation of every relationship is. Truth is that every relationship is just as strong as its foundation and relationships with poor foundation do not last.
As we start relationships, we get so excited that we refuse to take the time to build a great foundation and understanding that makes relationships strong. Many marriages have broken down with others on the verge of falling apart because of poor foundation.
Some people simply rush into marriage, with no direction where they expect the marriage to be in future.
People now only get married but fail to stay married because of lack of serious preparation and readiness for the institution of marriage. We never take the time to address the real issues that ought to be addressed and adequately dealt with before we finally commit. Most marital problems show their ugly face even while dating. If we could address these problems in courtship, we would avoid a lot of problems.
We need to watch the red flags in our partner’s behaviour and act on them instead of sweeping them under the carpet. Regardless of at which stage the relationship is. If you can’t cope with certain flaws in your partner while in courtship, best you call it quits. This will spare you a lifetime of misery.
If that person won’t be faithful to you, will abuse you and treat you like trash while you are dating or engaged to them, what makes you think that they will be faithful in marriage and treat you the way you expect to be treated?
We always get in marriage what we got while in courtship. Don’t settle for less. Always remember that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
We’re never strong because we hold on to what eats us up and kill us slowly but are weak because we lack the courage to make the decision to let go of what we hold on to and be happy.
Don’t fight to keep what God is trying to separate. If the relationship can’t work but brings you more pain than joy, let it go and move on. If it makes you cry, let it go. Don’t look for reasons to justify your partner mistreating you.
Don’t be desperate for marriage. A marriage should be enjoyed and not a bed of thorns. Make sure you are happy and get along well with your partner before you commit to marriage.
In ending, I wish to say that life serving decisions are extremely painful, but please make a decision that will see you happy. Don’t hold on to stones while you allow the gold pass you by. Understand your worth and that you need to be happy and not miserable in that marriage because you deserve better.
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